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Monday, March 21, 2011

I feel like a horrible mom..

Okay, I know I'm posting AGAIN lol, but I have watched The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America.. I am now DETERMINED to have a natural birth.. no drug intervention what-so-ever. If I had the money I would be finding a midwife and having a home birth. Unfortunately none of that is covered by insurance, so I won't be able to do that.

Unless there is a true medical reason that we have proof of I will NOT be induced. 50% of women who are induced end up having a c-section. 50%!!!
I feel so manipulated and used.. There was NOTHING wrong with me or Grace, but they said that she could die if I waited.. who is going to hear that and think "ohh I'll wait anyway." They played the baby in jeopardy card on me and she wasn't even in jeopardy! And then I thought 6 am was just a normal time for them to induce women.. well it is a normal time, but it's a normal time because they expect to have the baby out within 12 hours which mean they normally get to go home for dinner!! Ohh and they never schedule an induction or c-section on a weekend unless it's an emergency.. it's all about the doctor's lives. They don't give a crap about what you want.
I never knew that they would give a woman pitocin even if she wasn't induced. If her labor isn't going fast enough for them they will speed it up with pitocin!! It's just crazy.. there is no need for that at all. And looking back now I actually think that's what they did to me. I was 3 cms and 100% percent effaced. I went to the hospital to receive cervadil and pitocin, and I was already having contraction on my own.. strong enough contraction that they never gave me the cervadil, and by the time they came to give me the pitocin I had already dilated another cm. I think I was in labor all on my own (and I was feeling nothing. It was amazing). Then they had to come intervene because I guess 1 cm over night wasn't satisfactory for them, and like these movies say.. once they intervene once it's a domino effect. Next came the epidural. I honestly think I could have done it naturally because I wasn't even feeling a thing at 4 cms!

95% of home birth are 100% successful, and the other 5% generally make it to the hospital before anything get lifes threatening.. Only 53% of hospital births are 100% successful!! Basically half of all hospital births end in some sort of intervention.. vaccuum, forcepts, c-section, etc. It is just crazy!!! If I had know all this before I had Grace I NEVER would have agreed to induced when nothing was wrong.

At least my hospital was smart enough to use pitocin, which is an FDA approved induction drug. Some hospitals are using a drug called Cytotec because it's a lot cheaper than pitocin.. do you know why it's cheaper?? It's NOT FDA approved for the induction of labor.. as a matter of fact the label says NOT TO GIVE IT TO PREGNANT WOMEN. If you are ever planning on having another child make sure they do not get this anywhere near you!! It is actually kills women and/or their babies because it causes the placenta to swell like a balloon and potentially rupture.. Once it ruptures there is virtually no saving either one..

Ohh and also, some of the drugs given during labor have been linked to teenage depression and suicide, and there have been no studies on what effect the pitocin has on a child..

If you are going to have a baby or plan on having a baby in the future watch these two movies! Even if you aren't planning another you will be amazed at what you learn about your first labor. It really opened my eyes and I am appalled at what I saw. I streamed both of them instantly on Netflix, so if you have Netflix they are on there and can be watched at any time.

I just feel like a horrible mom for not knowing this stuff the first time around. I thought I was saving Grace's life when I was actually potentially putting it in danger. I have heard that the reason babies have bowel movenments when being delivered is because they are stressed.. I am now almost positive that even though I could no longer feel the pitocin working Grace was feeling ever last long and hard contraction to the point that she had a bowel movement.. Meconium aspiration can kill a baby! Not to mention for her entire first year of life we fought what seemed like every sickness there is because of her dampened immune system that is also linked to meconium aspiration.
After watching about 10 different women have a natural home birth, and seeing how empowered they felt and how much they actually seemed to enjoy the experience I now have 100% faith in my body that I can do this on my own.

Now of course if there is truly something medical I will not risk the babies life because of it, but I am going to look into it if there is supposedly something medical before I just jump the gun. There was one woman on Pregnant in American who was told that her babies head was too big to fit through her pelvis, and that she would HAVE to have a c-section, but she started to get suspicious when they refused to show her the measures of her pelvis, so she found another doctor 3 weeks before her due date! And she went into labor the next day.. you know what? She had that baby vaginally! Come to find out that her other doctor had scheduled her induction the day before he was supposed to leave for vacation!! She NEVER needed a c-section.. it was all about him making sure he could go on vacation.. he flat out lied to her. And they were also saying that nurses talk about how doctors won't let them check them women because if they do and they find that the woman has made progress they have no reason for a c-section. The doctors literally lie to women about them making progress! Gah.. all of this just makes me so mad.

Luckily I do trust my doctor to that extent. She never lied to me about anything like that. And this time I am going to hospital that says it has many resources for natural birth. I am determined that there will be no medicinal intervention unless it is 100% necessary!

Ohh and we are not letting Grace have her bottle to go to sleep anymore. We started last night, and you do not even want to know how late we stayed up fighting with her. She kept saying "ba ba" and crying. It was so pitiful, but she doesn't really need it anymore, so I want to go ahead and get her off of it before the new baby comes. Wish me luck because I will be doing the same thing again tonight :(


  1. You are not a bad Mom, but I get what you mean. I wish I had had the money to do all that with Samantha.
    I wonder if they have that movie on Netflix.

  2. Your not a bad mom. I think we were all miss unformed. We just did as was told because we thought they knew what they were doing.

    But for me...NEVER again if i was able to.... would use a midwife. They believe in the power of the womans body..blah blah blah...and thats fine until there is something seriously. Then they need to drop their hippie crap intervene or get a real doctor to do so. i started out going to a doctor when i was pregnant with Kaedyn but i did some research and decided i wanted a natural childbirth with no medication. period. So i decided to change over to a midwife. I went into labor on a Friday afternoon. I called and was told to walk and wait as long as i felt comfortable. Just the day before i had my ob appt and she had said that i was fully closed still and not thinned. Well i walked and walked to the point of complete agony. My contractions were constant with not even 10 seconds in between. I was in horrible pain in my back and left pelvic bone. When i say pain i mean PAIN! But anyways I call again and the midwife tells me that I am probably just hungry to eat a sandwich. WHAT?!? No so I just go the the hospital anyways. I was checked and was dialated to a 2 which was an approvement from the day before. But her being unhappy that i came up at like 8 at night said that i was not in active labor though she said herself that my contractions were back to back and OFF the charts...she sent me home with something to help me sleep. She said that if I was in pain in the morning than to come back but she strongly doubted I was in labor. I did not sleep a wink that night because I was hurting so bad. I couldnt even make it to my bed. i laid on the couch in EXTREME pain. I finally got up because i had to pee really bad. I stood up only to find blood everywhere. Drew rushed me to the hospital. When i was checked i was a 4 and the nurses told me i was staying. I went a couple hours with out the midwife even coming in. When she did she just checked me again and said that she wanted to start me on pit. Stupid me said ok because i trusted her. I mean why would a midwife give me meds unless she thought i needed it. Right after that she said she was going yo order a epidural. I trusted her. The epi never did take so I was sol there. HAHA!! But she left me for hours without coming in the room. My pain was unbearable and i was passing out here and there. about 15 hours into labor she comes in and checks me. I was at a 6 almost 7 and so she orders more pit. and tells me that my body knows what it is doing and will get the baby out one way or the other.

  3. She wanted to wait till the head was completely crowning before i pushed. Even though the fetal monitor was showing him in some distress. So I labor and finally hit 10 cm. The midwife came in and said that it was time to push. She told my mom and moms friend to hold my legs and for me to push and Drew to count. She told my dad to come get her when something happened. What?!? but i did as she said. for 3 hours i did this. I pushed for 3 hours straight no breaks. My body was getting weak. My midwife only sent a nurse in to peek on me once. My mom got tired of seeing me in pain and went outside my room to find the midwife just hanging out with the nurses chatting it up and joking. My mom b***hed her out. The whole hospital could probably hear her. She demaned for them to get a real doctor in. My mom briefed the doc on the situation and the doctor did not hesitate. she asked me to push and i tried but my body had given out. I told her i couldnt and she jokingly said a lot of women say that. I looked at her and said no really I cant. My body wont let me. She saw how serious and how much pain I was in. She felt my head and yelled she is burning up. Sh felt my stomach and checked me in like 3 minutes. She looked at me and said you have 2 choices and you have to think quick we dont have time. either the suction cup or a c section. My mom yelled out c section before I had a chance to answer. The baby before Kaedyn was killed during labor due to the cup snapping his neck. After my section where they had to remove some organs(they put them back of course)crack some ribs, and end up using the suction cup during surgery which the doctor said is usually not done( thats why she had said "lets try this" during dont want to here the word "try") i was told that kaedyn was very sick. He had got an infection from the midwife not checking me probably and from my spiked fever due to the extreme that was unnecessarily put on my body. He was in a special incubator when i first saw him. he was jaundice and was broken out in red bumps all over his body. i was not even aloud to reach my hand in there to touch him. They told me that i was very lucky. Both him and me could of died. They said in fact if my mom wouldnt off demanded to see a real doctor when she did that we would of.Because of the midwife my son was sick and i suffered great amounts of pain and had a 30 minute section (after the initial cut). A healthy section after cut only takes 5 minutes max.

  4. yeah, i didn't see those until after i had Corin. and now i own them. it really is crazy how much moms don't know. i mean you do what you're suppose to and read pregnancy books and everything and still are not totally informed. and that doesn't make you a bad mom! everyone expects doctors to do the right thing and have your best interests at heart but when that isn't the case there is something seriously wrong. when you are trusting someone with something so precious and so life changing you shouldn't have to worry about them screwing you over so that they can get home to dinner.
    and i understand that not every midwife is gonna be this awesome person who is gonna help you have the best experience and not every doctor is gonna induce you. you just have to do what you think is right and rely on your instincts to tell you what is right. and in the mean time read everything you can get your hands on, and research anything you have questions about.

    and i never understood that measuring your pelvis thing cause you know what they teach you in all the child birth classes, that the baby's head conforms to fit out the vagina. so measuring makes no sense that all. and idk if you read what i found out from my hospital records but they told me my baby wouldn't fit and that's why i had a c section well what really happened is i got hyper stimulation from the pitocin and his heart rate kept dropping cause i was having contractions ever 30 secs. but i did get to 5cm which im pretty sure that they did not tell me. and they also didn't tell me what an internal heart monitor is well it screws into the babies head. they told me it went on top of the babies head not into it. and i thought the bruise on his head was from me and they did not correct me. but yeah Ive already been talking to a midwife here before i even get pregnant so i know all my options. right now im kinda planning on having both a doctor and a midwife, but we'll see if i can afford that when i do get pregnant. lol.

  5. Brittany.. both The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America are on Netflix. I found The Business of Being Born informative, but it focused more on the natural birth itself. I found Pregnant in America to be extremely informative. They really get down to the truth and display the hard facts. I reccomend both of them though, because they each cover some things that the other doesn't.

    Jessika.. it sounds like you just ended up with an idiot. She doesn't even sound like a midwife.. I've never heard of a midwife who pushes intervention. On these movies all of the midwives seem so kind and caring. They listen to the woman and what she wants to do. The lady I call my "doctor" is actually a midwife, but she's in a doctor's office, so I don't really consider her one. She didn't come in until a little before it was time for me to push, checked me, and left. She did that a few times, but didn't stay until I started pushing. These real midwives stay with the women from the moment they go into labor (well as soon as they can get there after they are called). And they encourage the woman.. they tell her that she can do it, but they are also medically trained, so if something does go wrong they can handle it, and know when to call an ambulance if it is a home birth. That is what I want.. My midwife is nice and all, but she is more like a doctor than a true midwife. I guess it just depends on the level of caring that the person is.. if they truly care they aren't going to be worried about socializing or dinner or vacations.. they are going to be worried about the people and babies.

    Chrissy.. yea I remember you talking about those things. I just wish I wouldn't have been so naive as to not check into this stuff, but like you said, everyone expects the doctors to know what they are doing and do it right. I think the measuring the pelvis thing is just another one of those baby in jeopardy things. It's get the people to agree to a c-sections then the doctors can go home earlier.

  6. Oh ya. I remember taking Mrs. Hendricks's class helped a LOT. I can't imagine how little I would know about development if I hadn't taken her classes.