Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

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Sunday, March 6, 2011

"Friends"

By now I am well aware that being a teen mom basically means true friends are hard to come by, but I was thinking about something today.. us girls that are in the category of "good" teen mom probably have it the hardest of ANY type of person.

At my 17th birthday party (pretty sure this is the night I got pregnant with Grace) I had over 20 people there, and that wasn't even all of my "friends." That was just the ones that could make it. Now I can count my friends and it doesn't even take up two hands.. Erica, Brittany, Jessika, Morgan, Laura, and Ashley. Laura and Ashley don't have kids, but Laura has been in my life since I was 7 and she is Chris' cousin, so we are basically family. Then Ashley is just an amazing person. She loves Grace to death, and doesn't mind having her around when we hang out. Then the other four of you are "good" teen moms.

The reason I say it is the hardest for us is because we are too young for older moms. They don't understand us. We are too mature for people our age. They don't understand us. And we are too responsible for the moms that fall within the stereotype of a teen mom. They don't understand us either. We are left searching for people our age who are really understanding or people our age who have kids and don't act like a teenager is expected to act. These two things are extremely hard to find.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the friends I have and I couldn't ask for more, but that doesn't mean that I am not left hurting by my other "friends". The girl who was my BEST friend in high school has not said a word about me being pregnant again. I'm not even sure she knows. We just don't talk anymore at all. If we talked it was me texting her.. I did that for awhile, but I gave up. I'm not going to waste my time on someone who doesn't care. I invited her to Grace's birthday party, and she never said anything. Then she had her twin sister text me on the day of Grace's party to tell me she had to work. That is when I gave up.. Grace's birthday party was one of the most important days of the year to me, and she just blew it off.
Sad thing is.. her and Ashley were best friends in high school too. I ended up having a class with Ashley the first semester of my senior year and we sat next to each other. One day she asked me something about the other girl because she knew we were friends, and ever since that day Ashley and I have been friends.. You know what is even more sad? I had been friend with the other girl for 2 years.. I had only been friends with Ashley for 3 months.. and it was Ashley who came to the hospital the NIGHT I had Grace.. you know when the other girl came? 2 WEEKS later! I learned who my true friends were quickly. I think she is the one who hurt me the most.


I just don't think it's fair that we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing and we get left out because of it. I guess there is nothing we can do to change it though..

6 comments:

  1. I agree with every word of this post. I'm so glad we're still great friends and our children can grow up together. I love you girl. And as long as you have one good friend in your life you're doing better than most. This world..it's cruel.

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  2. Hey now...We didn't get to come until the next day. lol.
    Actually, I just started talking to a Mom the other day that I met at a PAT meeting. We took her girl and Samantha out on a playdate to the park and I found out she was 31!!! I figured she would never contact me again after she found out I was so young, but she did!!! I was so excited. She is probably one of the few people that will ever accept that there are good moms out there that are younger.

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  3. Lol Brittany you came to the hospital.. that is all that matters. Erica couldn't come, but I understand in her situation considering she had a baby of her own lol. I just think it's sad that she couldn't take time out of her busy life to come see her so called best friend's baby for two weeks!
    That is awesome that you found an older mom who understands though! I have yet to find one. Of course I'm not around many.

    Erica.. I'm glad we are friends too! I think even if one of us hadn't had a baby we would still be friends. We have always been so close :) You are the only reason that I do not regret dating Derek :) My life would not be the same without you.

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  4. Ha Ha. I am just kidding. I wanted to shoot the people that came to the hospital the first day I had Samantha. lol. That is one of the reasons we waited until the next day.
    Ya. Well, we have only hung out once, so we will see, but she seems nice. And she works with people our age for a living. I was like, "Great, so it is like she is working after hours." lol. I kind of feel inferior though because she has like a 6 year AND a 4 year degree (in something different.) She has traveled the world. She has been married for 12 years...Etc. I feel so...young, inexperienced...whatever you want to call it. =p

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  5. I so feel you. Life here is lonely. I find it sad that there are young pregnant girls around me or young moms around me but they are all immature. They don't go to school or if they do they go hang out and get drunk afterwards while their baby is in daycare or at their parents house. There are older people at our church who say quick hellos and what not but other than that don't recognize us. They will all get together and talk about going to play dates and stuff with me and drew standing right there without inviting us. Me and drew got to the point where we were like we don't need them. We are happy with just us and the babies. But I would give anything to have friends for the babies.
    What do your guys think about being young dads? I ask Drew a lot.he hates not having dads like him...that actually stick around. He hates being looked down by guys older than him and by guys his age.
    Its hard....I didn't have anybody until y'all came around.

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  6. Chris doesn't really seem to mind. He's kind of the loner type of person.. doesn't really care if he has friends or not. He really likes Adam though (Erica's fiance). They have a lot in common, plus they both know what it's like to have responsibilities, so they really click well. But still they only hang out when Erica and I get together and bring them along lol.
    As far as being looked down on.. Chris is the type of person who doesn't care what people think about him. Sometimes that's a good thing.. sometimes it's not lol. He will say whatever is on his mind and he doesn't care how crazy it sounds lol. But if someone tries to down him he won't take it. I think that's why he doesn't have many friends.. he won't put up with bull crap.

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