Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

She finally said it!

That simple little word I have been waiting 7 and a half months to hear... "mama" :) She has said "ma" and "mum." I also have the suspicion that she says "GrayGray"... It sounds more like "gaygay" but we call her GrayGray all the time. Technically "ma" was her first word because she said it with the intent to get my attention, but now she has finally said "mama" and I am so excited. She has said it like 20 times since then too. She said it so much I even got to catch it on video with my phone and I immediately sent it to Brittany and Chris lol. Chris didn't seem all too thrilled, but I think it's because he was hoping she would say "dada" first lol. He still said he was happy for me.

Speaking of Chris.. I really do believe things are different now. Before I loved him and I know he loved me, but it was like we weren't "in love" anymore. We never just cuddled anymore, never held hands, hardly ever showed each other affection, but it is totally different now. I know things are still complicated, but it's like that spark we used to have is back. He came over today just to see us and he gave me a hug, but it wasn't just a hug.. it actually had feelings behind it. Then I was laying on my bed with Grace and he laid behind me and just cuddled me. We haven't done that in months.. and just the way he looks at me now is like he used to look at me when we first started dating. He also always tells me how pretty or beautiful I look without even being prompted lol. I know it could all be an act, but I really hope its not. When he does something like that it really makes me feel special. He also reminds me every time I see him that he swears he will never hurt me again. He also send me a text every morning telling me "good morning," texts randomly during the day saying he loves me, and a text every night telling me "goodnight." I never realized how much the simple things make a difference. I just really hope he keeps it up.

We took Grace to Riverbend on Tuesday. For those of you who don't know Riverbend is a music festival that lasts all week near where we live where most people go to get drunk, but it was Christian night when we went and there is no drinking allowed on that night. Third Day was there, but we didn't really get to see much of them. Too busy walking around talking to whoever we ran into. Grace didn't really seem to care what we were doing and she eventually got tired of being stuck in her stroller. I had a major headache most of the time we were there which wasn't fun, but getting out of the house is always nice. Chris was there and again he was being so sweet. He would push the stroller if my head started hurting, and he would put his arm around me or hold my hand when I was pushing it. It just amazes me..  I keep waiting for the time when he's not going to be sweet anymore.. when somethings going to go wrong again because that is what I am used to. I don't know how long it will take for me to stop thinking that.. if I ever can. I really don't know what our status is right now.. I guessing dating.. but a really complicated kind of dating. It just all seems so perfect right now.. I want perfect. I know that is what would be best for Grace.. to have both of her parents together and happy. I want that so bad.

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