Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

Here are some links to helpful posts I have done in the past :)

Learn about car seat safety HERE!

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Friday, September 7, 2012

What kind of mom am I?

I believe in co-sleeping. Partly because it's easier then having to get up during the night, and partly because I feel the kids are safer. Yes, I know the risks. I'm not over-weight, I don't do drugs or drink, I am not a heavy sleeper (I wake up at the slightest noise or movement). So, I truly feel they are safer. I'm at the point now where I'm ready for Grace to move to her own bed though. I think we are going to start working on that around her third birthday.

I believe breast is best, and I will nurse in public. I always use a cover, but I will not go sit in my car or some nasty bathroom. You don't like it, you can look away. I suppose I also believe in extended nursing because Brentley still nurses. He doesn't nurse anywhere near as much as he used to. Only when he's tired, upset, or not feeling well. He doesn't nurse for food anymore really, but I don't plan on stopping. We are just going through a VERY slow weaning process.

I don't believe in circumcising. I researched this extensively before Brentley was born (talked to people I knew, talked to moms on cafemom, researched articles online, and asked my doctor and midwife, and of course Chris since he is a guy). We feel that it is purely cosmetic. We never even got Grace's ears pierced because we don't want to alter their bodies without their permission. If Brentley wants to be circumcised one day, then he can. If we had gotten him circumcised, he cannot go back from that. I will not alter my children without their permission.

I believe in vaccinating, but not blindly. I am actually sort of torn on this. There are things I'm not comfortable with on both sides of this fence, but (again) through my research, I believe vaxxing is the better choice for our family. However, we don't do flu vaccines, and they only get two vaccines at a time as to not overload their systems. Also, if one of the kids were to have a serious reaction, I would no longer vax that child. I watch their reactions closely. Grace always got a fever, she would get really fussy, and the injection site would get hard and red. If it ever would have gotten more serious... like a high fever or a rash, I probably wouldn't have let her have anymore vaccinations. Brentley just gets fussy for a little while, and then he's fine.

You all know that I am a car seat nazi, so I won't really go into that except to say that this is the one area where I don't believe it should be a choice. This is truly about safety... life and death. This should not be regarded as something you can pick and choose. We will be extended rear-facing, extended harnessing, and extended boostering.

I highly value education. I want my children to always try their hardest. As long as I believe they are doing the best they can, I will not be upset. If I know they could do better, there will be consequences.
My children learn early. Grace can already do everything she needs to be able to do for kindergarten except write her name, and we are working on that. She is also beginning to learn Spanish. She picked it up from Dora, but I am helping her along now that she is showing interest in it. In addition to that, I am teaching her sign language. Right now we are starting with simple signs and the alphabet. She can already do A B and C. Brentley will be taught at the same pace. I find it to be a waste of time to wait until they're four or five to learn these things. They are ready so much earlier than that. I know that planning on sending them to public school may not seem like I truly value education, but we live in the best school district for miles. I have worked in the school that they will be going to (in four different classrooms) and it is Ah-may-zing! Plus, I am studying to be a teacher. I am learning first-hand how the system works, and I will know how to effectively add to their education when they are home with me. Again, I believe this is what will work best for our family.

I value imagination very much. Grace has a very active imagination, and I love to see it blossoming!   I have always loved where books can take the imagination. I have a list of book series that I want my children to read including Magic Tree House books, The Shadow Children series, the Harry Potter books (haven't read these, but I've heard nothing, but great things and plan to read them), and the Hunger Games series. Each of these books has great educational value as well as great potential to allow their imaginations to soar. I have so much hope that books will bring them the same joys that I have always found in them. I have read more books than I can even name. So many more than just these here, but these are the ones that top my list. The ones that I learned from. The ones that I connected to. The ones that made me want to believe in the places I was transported to by the books. I want them to have these experiences too.

 I also place a lot of value on appearance and attitude. Even now, I make sure they look presentable when we go somewhere. I want them to realize that a first impression is everything. The way you look is the way you'll be judged. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. I also want them to have a presentable attitude. Grace always says please, thank you, you're welcome. She even says bless you when someone sneezes. We are working on yes/no sir, yes/no ma'am. The way you look and act is everything in today's world.

I want to have a completely open relationship with them. I didn't know what a penis or a vagina was until I was almost 8 because I was never taught the proper names. I remember being very confused when one of my friends was telling me the real names.
I was never taught what a period was. I learned from one of my friends and from secretly reading the book "You" by American Girl whenever my mom would take me to Book-A-Million. Yes, secretly. I was afraid of what my mom would think if she knew I was reading that book. If I hadn't learned through that book and from my friend, then I probably would have thought I was dying or something the day I started.
The only sex talk I ever received was, "Don't have sex." And I got that from my dad when I was ALREADY four months pregnant (he just didn't know yet).

I do NOT want these things for my children. If they have questions about their bodies or even the bodies of people of the opposite sex, I will answer them honestly. It will be age appropriate, but it will be honest. I believe being open at a very young age will allow an easier open relationship as they get older. I was always scared to talk to my mom about anything like that because she never brought it up, and things were awkward if I did, so I just never did.
I want them to be able to ask questions without fear.

This is all I can think of right now. I will stand by my decisions. I will even advocate for them, but, as long as you aren't hurting your child, I don't care what you do. If you don't agree with these things, I don't mind at all. Different things work for different families. I won't judge your parenting style, so please don't judge mine :)


  1. Hey girl, our parenting styles are really similar.

    I feel Sam is safer with me too. I know she is safe if she is in my arms. She is to the point now where she will sleep in her bed if I ask her too, but she sleeps with me while Jessie is out of town, and on the weekends and such. I hope you can get Grace back in her bed. I know that alone time with Chris is important. It is really nice to have time with Jessie after she goes to sleep now.

    I don't blame you for not wanting to alter their body without permission. I even recorded Sam asking to have her ears pierced so that later on she could not say she didn't ask. Now that i think about it, I feel like she was too young to decide because she based it off of, "Well, all the other girls in dance have their ears pierced." But...I was just too excited to say no.

    You are right! Our school district is a very good school district. i can't tell you how many horrible things I have heard about other school districts around. Are you hoping to get a job at Ringgold too?

    PS Sam has some of the Magic Tree House books, We read a few pages at a time at night. She also likes Magic School Bus!

  2. Grace has actually expressed that she wants her ears pierced, but it's only because she wants to wear earrings like me. I don't feel that she truly knows what she is asking yet, and she doesn't understand when I try to explain. So, we're going to wait until she really understands. Recording it is a good idea! I think I'll do that!

    My dream job would be a job at Ringgold Primary. My ultimate dream job would be to be a Special Education teacher there. DSC doesn't have a special ed program though, so I don't know that I will ever be special ed :( I would have to go to UTC for the special ed part, and at this point, I'm just not sure if I want to do that. I would be a graduate student, so it would be expensive. Not to mention time consuming. My heart belongs in special ed, but my head doesn't agree :(

  3. Ha Ha. Yep. That is what we are going to do, record her asking for a baby sister. lol That way she can't say she didn't want one. It is a good idea to wait. Like I said, I regret letting Sam. It was just all that excitement of "my little girl is growing up" and now I realize how young she was. I regret getting my ears pierced. And the last time I got them pierced (they kept growing up) I was like 14. lol

    That is a really good goal. I hope that you are able to go back to school for special education. Maybe Dalton will add the special education program in the next few years. Have you asked them if they have ever considered it?

  4. I got my ears pierced when I was four. I apparently asked my mom. I don't remember asking, but I do remember having it done. They did one ear, and I cried. I didn't want to do the next one. Eventually they got me to do it though. I've had those holes ever since then.
    When I was 11 I got my cartilage pierced. I took it out too much though, so it closed up. I had it done again at 13. I have no idea if that hole is still there. I haven't tried to put anything in it for years. I doubt it's still open.

    I kind of doubt they will. They are mostly adding technology and medical courses. However, at orientation, they talked about how students that took the ESOL (English as a Second Language) courses had been able to pass the special ed test to become certified in special ed from the things they learned in the ESOL courses. I am planning on taking them, so hopefully, just maybe, I can become certified in special ed that way. That would save me a lot of time and money!

  5. Ha Ha. I am the same about my cartilage. Suzi pierced it for me. I Love it. I used to wear big hoops on bottom, smaller hooks in the holes above that, and then one at the top. I was the coolest kid in town.;) But now I wish they weren't there, especially the bottom ones because they are all stretched out from the hoops.

    Oh, That would be great! I wonder how those two things are related. I thought you had to have aspecial education degree to be certified. Maybe you can find study resources online too! Or textbooks at McKays. That way you can get the job you really want. :)

  6. I'm sure that actually having a degree in special education would look better in an interview, but you can have a degree in teaching and be certified in special and and still potentially find special ed jobs.

    ESOL and special ed are sort of related in the way that they are both aimed at helping children learn who can't necessarily learn as easy in a regular setting. While the material itself would be different, a lot of the approach and method would be the same. I'll be learning more about it all in one of my classes next semester because it is all about culture and diversity, so I'll learn a lot about how the two cross over.