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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ugg what is best for my children??

I have all of these things in my head for how I want to raise my children, but there are two things majorly on my mind right now.. VACCINES and CIRCUMCISION..

-With Grace I will admit that I did not do a lot of research on anything, so I didn't know much about vaccines at all. All I knew was that my family believes my brother contracted autism from something he was given during his surgery, so they no longer trusted vaccines either. I talked to Grace's doctor about it, and she gave us the option of breaking them up.. 2-3 at a time instead of the sometimes 4-5 at a time. She said that the autism thing wasn't really a factor, but that there was the possibility of overloading the child's immune system to the point that they could POSSIBLY contract one of the viruses they were being vaccinated for IF it was a live virus. Well Grace got sick so much just in her first couple of months of life that I knew I didn't want to take any chances with her immune system, but I also felt "better safe then sorry" as far as getting her vaccinated, so we opted for the breaking them up. To this day Grace has never had a full set of vaccines on time, and I am happy with this decision because there were many times that she got a fever after her vaccines. It has made our life a little more busy because we have to come in in between regular appointments to get her the rest of her vaccines, but I don't mind at all.
Since I have started my Pyschology class at school I have actually learned a lot about vaccines/autism.. I learned that the notorious study that linked autism to vaccines has since been completely discreditted. 10 of the 12 people behind the study have even admitted to it's faults.. it was biased, unethical, not repeatable, and they did not account for the illusory correlation. Basically there is NO connection between autism and vaccines for normal healthy children.

However, there was a study done on children who had immune dificiencies or disorders. In this study it was proven that vaccines could cause autism. I think this is what happened in my brother's case because Down Syndrome dampens the immune system, so I think something he was given during his surgery caused his autism.

I mention the illusory correlation.. by this I am referring to what appears to be a link when there really isn't one. Children who have autism typically start showing symptoms around the age of two, which is the same time that the MMR vaccine is given..

But here is my problem.. autism hits very close to home for me because of my brother. I feel like if one of my children was to develop autistic tendencies I would want to know for 100% sure that it wasn't something I could have prevented.. I feel like if I get my kids vaccinated and then they start exhibitting autistic symptoms I am always going to be wondering "what if?" I almost feel like stopping Grace's vaccines until she is older.. she's not in day care, so she isn't required to have them, but then I think, what if she contracts something that I could have vaccinated her for?  Then I would 100% know it was my fault.. it's just so hard. At this point I plan to keep vaccinating her in the broken up schedule like we have before, and I plan to have Brentley vaccinated the same way, but it is still something that constantly weighs on my mind..
Does anyone else have any advice, experiences, feedback, etc?

- Chris and I are struggling with the idea of having Brentley circumsized. I have been doing some research on it, and I know that for the most part it is considered purely cosmetic.. however (PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS GET BACK TO CHRIS! HE WILL KILL ME IF HE KNOWS I TALKED ABOUT THIS) Chris is not circumsized. At first he was very adamant about having Brentley vaccinated for a couple of reasons.. one I'm not going to say because it's way too much information, but the other is infections.. this is TMI too, but Chris keeps his umm.. area.. very clean. He always has, but recently he has been prone to infections. His doctor tells him every time that it just happens with some guys.. there's nothing they can do about it except get circumsized. Which when the guy is an adult is supposedly very painful after the proceedure is done. I think about how clean Chris keeps his, and he still gets infections, so it makes me wonder.. when Brentley is like 8 he's not going to want me cleaning it for him, but how clean is an 8 year old capable of keeping it (just using 8 as an example, could be any age when they are doing things like that for themselves)??
But then, on the other hand, I have heard the horror stories.. bauched circumcision where the little boy is deformed for life, babies dying from bleeding to death, things like that. I feel like I could take the bleeding to death to heart, and just check him constantly to insure he is not bleeding.. However, I know I am not in control of how the proceedure turns out. Btw, Brittany, did you ever find out which doctor it was when it happened to the little boy we were talking about? Was it Tinsley?

There are a few things that I don't factor in.. I don't feel that if we left him uncircumsized that he would be made fun of or rejected or anything like that. Many guys are uncircumsized now, so I don't think it would be a big deal there, and I know I don't mind Chris being uncircumsized, and I know several girls whose guys are uncircumsized, and they don't mind, so I don't think that there are many girls who would reject him.
On the other hand, I know that my insurance does not consider it cosmetic, and they will pay for it. I also know that if it is done in the hospital where I am planning to have Brentley that they do use a topical numbing cream. I know a girl who works there, and she has helped out with circumcisions.. she says most of the boys who are born there have it done, and that a lot of them don't even cry, and if they do cry they start crying beforehand because they are strapped to that table and they don't like it (which I'm not thrilled with the idea of strapping them down, but it doesn't hurt them), and once they are off the table they stop crying. I've also read about a new proceedure some doctor's use that is called Plastibell I think. Instead of cutting the skin off they use some sort of plastic ring thing.. it pretty much kills the skin. Kind of like a cord clamp.. once the cord dies it falls off, well once the skin dies it falls off, and it is supposedly painless and much safer for the baby because there is no open wound. I am going to look into seeing if Brentley's doctor offers that (assuming they aren't the people who messed up the person Brittany knows..).
I know I've already talked to most of you about this, but I just really needed to get it all my thoughts out so I can get them organized

I just really don't know what to do in these two situations! These are situations that could honestly effects my children's futures. I hate having to make decisions like these! I wish someone would make them for me, so I could blame it on them if I make the wrong decision LOL, but I know that is not possible. I am just going to keep researching, and hope I can get to a place where I am comfortable with my decisions.


  1. Yea stuff like this is hard. My babies have all be normally vaccinated. I knew that autism and vacs were not related. Breaking it down seems to be working for you. Also the season grace was born in could do with why she was sick a lot or she could just be one of those people. All of my children were sick the first year...but with the amount of blood they lose at birth it is understandable. O and fevers with vacs are normal.
    The circumcision thing i have already told you about so not much there. Drew isn't either(yea don't tell him I told you) and he has never had a problem....well he did say that when he was younger he went to the doctor for a regular physical and they...sry tmi...pulled back the skin and he had some dirt I guess and they told him how to care for it. And that was that. Your son will have physicals so they should tell him. O and if you do it from a young age and show him he should catch on just like kids do with every thing else. And if Chris is open about it with him then he can always go to him with a question. Also circ guys have a lot of issues with infections....the skin is there for protection. Does Chris drink a lot of water or cranberry juice....that could help. It could be(I know this is gross but as a pre nursing major I learn about this stuff alot) him not "shaking it" good enough after using the restroom leaving the pathogens from his urine(can't believe I'm talking about this) to cause infection or itch. (yep that was and and your friends right. They do put numbing cream...but it doesn't really do much. Also a lot of babies do not cry and come back to you asleep...due to a state of shock. Remember that a dime size spot of blood can potentially kill a baby. And they lose that much if not more during the procedure...sending the baby into shock. the same thing with checking the doesn't take much. My biggest fear. I was always afraid I was going to make Kaedyn bleed. I really hope that new way is less painful and really works! That would help make decision like this easier and protect a lot of babies!!! I love medical advances! I guess I would say just follow your mommy instinct. I have had plenty of those moments when I second guessed myself....I still do:) your a great mom! You can do it! We all have your back no matter what you decide. Just pray about it and God will provide the answer. I just hate looking for it!

  2. In my heart I know the vaccines aren't related to autism, but it still just kills me. I really wish my kids were like 10 just so I would know if they are going to have autism or not lol. That is one thing I think about on a daily basis.. not even related to the vaccines.. just the autism itself. I am TERRIFIED that one of my children will have it. I would still ove my children no matter what, but I know what it means for my child, and I don't want that for them :(

    As far as the circumcision.. this is one of those very TMI convos LOL. Chris just recently started drinking Propel water.. he has always disliked plain water. I couldn't get him to drink it for the life of me, but he has found Propel within the last month.. it's flavored. They are kind of pricey, but I know they are much better for him than Dr. Pepper/Mnt Dew/Tea, which is mostly what he drank before. So hopefully that will help. He actually doesn't just shake, he wipes too because of the infections.. again way TMI LOL. I really don't like the idea of them cutting it off. I feel like that really is just too risky, but if I could find out more about this Plastibell thing I might consider it. I feel like if we don't do it he can always chose to have it done later in life, but if we do do it he can't ever regrow that skin.. At this point I am leaning more towards leaving him uncircumsized. At least I still have 3 months!!

  3. I understand your fear. I believe all of us have that fear that something may be wrong with our child. Of course we would love them but it just isn't what we wanted for them. Also like you said it hits close to home for you.

    Yea his drinking habit could of had a lot to do with it. That's goos that he found propel. I use to have to drink it for my heart. It's not as good for you as regular water because of the sugar and sodium(though I thought I heard they were taking thatmout?) so he would still have to be careful.

    I agree about cutting it being risky. I literally cried once I found out what was done to Kaedyn. I cried when I had to take care of it when he was a newborn because he was in pain. Its a touchy subject for me also....If we were to have another boy what would I do....because one boy would be different....I don't want them to feel left out. Like If I didn't circ than Kaedyn would be the only one and I don't want him thinking he's different than his brother and Daddy. sounds stupid but I am always trying to keep everything that you have 2 you know what I mean. You have to do the same things for Brentley like the baby books as you did for Grace...but in this situation it is a different story. I don't want to tell Kaedyn o well it was dangerous so I didn't do it to little brother but did it to you. He won't understand that I didn't know better.

  4. As far as vaccines go, I think that what you are doing now with Grace is good. They have to have SO many vaccines when they are little, and they are required when they enter school. That would be a LOT to get over the period of...I don't know, a year. I just started looking into vaccines. However, Samantha has gotten most of hers. She is just missing boosters. I think we are going to opt out of boosters because they aren't necessary. I never got booster shots.

    Second, I am married to a certain someone who is uncircumcised, and to be honest, I would rather it that way. I guess because he is the only guy I have been with...That is sort of all I know. Ba Ha Ha. Don't tell him I told ya'll either. Anyway, I guess I think of it sort of like piercing a baby's ears...What if they didn't want them pierced? Ya know? Only this is on a bigger scale. My Mom said it is the gynecologist who is on rounds that day that does it. She thinks it was Weldon. She is not sure.

  5. Wow I just have to say this....but all of our certain somebodies are "intact"
    Wow!! I thought Drew was one in a thousand! Ba ha ha!!!

  6. Hahaha that is funny that they all are uncircumsized. Chris wasn't circumsized because they won't circumsize a preemie, and then they just never did his.. I think that was the least of their worries with him.
    He told me about it before I had ever seen it, and he freaked me out because he made it seem like he was deformed or something LOL. It's no big deal to me, but of course I wouldn't know the difference. I've heard a lot of women (in doing my research) say that they actually prefer it that way.

    Jessika.. I was actually asking this girl on my facebook named Hannah about it because she has two boys, and she was like you. She was like 17 and didn't know about it with her first, so he was circumsized. She knew a lot more about it with her second, but she didn't want him to feel different from his brother, so she had him circumsized too even though she really didn't want to (I'm guessing the daddy is circumsized as well).

    Brittany.. the only one I really feel that they need is the Hep B one they are given at birth because Hep B can be deadly and it's transferred through just about any body fluid like tears, urine, and saliva, so if someone had it and held the baby the baby could possible get it, so that one I want my babies to have, but there are a LOT of them that I don't think are really necessary that young. I'm just going to keep breaking them up just so I don't overload them, since it's not necessary.
    And with the circumcision, I've actually even heard it compared to an abortion.. that the baby has no choice in the matter.. that's what really got me looking into it.

    Funny thing, you saying that ear piercing thing pretty much just sealed the deal for me though because I have always said that I'm not going to get Grace's ears pierced unless she wants them done because I feel that it is her choice, and that is what my mom did with me. But I've never thought about that compared to the circumcision.. it is basically the same principal. And after what I read last night I was leaning even more towards no anyway.. I'm going to have to talk to Chris about it, but I am pretty set on leaving him intact now.

  7. None of my 5 younger siblings have their vaccines. And 4/5 of them are in school. My stepdad's family feel very strong about no giving them vaccines. None of my cousins have them either.

    Kayelynn has all of hers though. As for the other issue, I haven't had to deal with that yet. So I'm not very well informed of the 2 different arguements.

  8. My sister isn't vaccinated at all either. She's not in school yet, but she will be next year. I guess my mom is just going to put religious reasons or something.

  9. lol. Glad I could help you seal the deal. I try to let Samantha make as many choices as possible. I know she isn't old enough to make choices now, so I just try to wait. I am trying not to say that I am 100% sure I am going to homeschool her because she may look at me and say, "No. I want to go to school." At that point, there is not much I can really do.