Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

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Friday, October 8, 2010

The worst nightmare ever!

Oh gosh.. I really hope I don't start having these often.. at least once a week when I was pregnant I would dream that I had miscarried or delivered Grace wayyyy to early.. which of course meant I lost her. And my dreams always feel so real. I often wonder if I am even normal because when I wake up it sometimes takes me a moment to realize none of it really happened.
Anyway.. last night I dreamt that I was sleeping and when I woke up Chris told me that Grace had died! Oh it was just awful. All I could do was cry in the dream. I cannot imagine losing my baby girl, but the dream was so real. When I woke up I had to role over and make sure she was there (yes we co-sleep and that is how I like it). I really hope I don't start having dreams like that once a week like I did when I was pregnant. It is just too much to handle!
Funny note though.. Brittany, in the dream I texted you to tell you and you told me to get some alcohol to make the pain go away lol.
If I ever lost Grace I would probably just go crawl in a hole and never come out. I feel for anyone who has lost a child. I have never felt the pain of losing anyone close, but that dream showed me how painful it can be.

Good note.. I have her scrap/baby-book caught up to date finally! Only three major events left to put in it. trip to the pumpking patch, halloween, and everything that happens in her birthday week. Because I am going to end it after her first birthday party. After that I will just be doing holidays and special events/milestones.


  1. OMG!!! What a horrible dream. I am having those bad pregnancy dreams and they scare me so bad. I cant wait to hold little Ellanoa and know she is ok.

  2. Oh gosh, that sounds so scary! I remember you telling me about those dreams. I couldn't imagine losing Sam. It felt so weird when we moved her from our bed into her own room. I was always freaking out. But she gets to be in our bed on the weekends and I LOVE it! lol.