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Friday, January 27, 2012

So get this...

My 20th birthday is a week from today. I was planning on spending the first half of it with my mom and sister and the second half with my dad (and of course Chris and the babies all day). I get a phone call from my dad today saying that we will have to plan my birthday dinner for a different day because he wants to take my brother, my autistic brother who hates crowds and loud noises, to the Rinngold vs. Heritage (my brother's school) basketball game... Probably the loudest most crowded basketball game of the season. My brother is going to hate it. I would be mad at him for making my brother go to that even if it wasn't my birthday. And the fact that it is my birthday makes it that much worse. Then he says, "You are welcome to go with us if you want." Seriously?? I went to a total of maybe four basketball games the entire time I was in high school, and there was only one that I actually had fun at. And I can just imagine trying to take my hyper active two year old and my clingy baby to a basketball game. Just how I want to spend my birthday... not!
It just hurts my feelings that my dad cares more about a basketball game than my 20th birthday :( I would NEVER do that to my kids! Their birthdays will be all about them. Even if he was doing this for my brother, which I know he's not, it's still not right. And he is only using my brother as an excuse to go himself. He goes to basketball games all the time, and he knows he would sound like a jerk if he went by himself instead of spending my birthday with me, but he knows if he's the dad who took his mentally challenged son to the biggest basketball game of the season, then he is going to sound like a great guy (most people don't know about Cody's autism, so they don't know he actually hates that sort of thing).
Grrr... I let my guard down and let myself think that my relationship with my dad is getting better, and then he goes and does something like this.

I don't know... I just can't imagine doing something like this on my kids' birthdays. If it is Grace's birthday, we are going to do whatever Grace wants. If it is Brentley's birthday, we are going to do whatever Brentley wants. If Brentley wants to go to a basketball game on Grace's birthday, he will just have to miss it. If Grace wants to go to the mall on Brentley's birthday, she will have to go another day. Heck, if there was something I wanted to do on one of their birthdays, I would most certainly miss it. My children will always be most important, and they will be raised to know that their sibling is more important than anything else.
I guess not everyone feels the same though :(

1 comment:

  1. Yah. He didn't even seem to like the noise at Grace's party, and it wasn't even as loud as a basketball game!

    I am sorry though. I know how you feel. My Mom keeps saying we are going to hang out, and we were going to today. I cleared my schedule and we made plans. I was so excited because it has been awhile, and we used to hang out every week. Then last night she text me and told me she went to the the thrift store without me and spent all her money, so we couldn't hang out. It just really hurt my feelings. I offered for us to just go the playground or something, and she said no. :/

    Hopefully you will still have a good birthday though. Can't wait to get together. :)