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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Could this really, finally be??

We have decided how to use my Pell grant that I will be getting in January.

Chris and I are going to get married! It's going to be a relatively small ceremony. Just family and close friends (which I don't have many of, and neither does Chris, but we do have lots of family). Probably 40 people max. I know that's not super small, but most of the people I know who have been getting married lately have had like 200+ people. I don't even want that at all. I don't even see the point in having 35252363634 people there that you barely ever talk to anymore. I really would actually kind of like it to just be close friends and immediate family, but mine and Chris' families would flip if they were not invited. Half of them probably won't even show, but they would still flip if they hadn't got an invite.

So anyway... we have talked to my mom about it, and she is on board, which is great! Before she didn't want us to get married because we have had issues in the past, but we have both matured so much since then. We have learned how to be selfless and put the other person first. And I am very happy that my mom sees that. She said she was excited to be planning a wedding. We also talked to my grandmother, and we are going to use her church to get married. My cousin and his wife got married there, and it was really nice. They only charge $60 for the minister, use of the sanctuary, and use of the reception area. The only thing I am worried about paying for is the food/cake. I know that is expensive.

I'm not even sure if I am going to get an official "wedding dress." If I clould find a nice dress that was a prom dress or even possibly a used wedding dress I wouldn't mind. I just want to feel pretty. I don't care if it's a big, fancy, expensive dress. And Chris is going to rent his tux.

We don't have an official date yet. We aren't sure how long it will take us to get everything together, so we are waiting for that. We aren't really going to have "colors" because the sanctuary at my grandmother's church is one of those fancy ones that doesn't need much decorating. Plus it has red carpet, so it pretty much forces any colors we do have to match the color red, which is pretty much only white. My grandmother makes bows and flower arrangements, so she said she would do that stuff for us.

There is one thing standing in our way... my dad. I know we don't need his consent anymore, but it would be nice to have his approval. We won't though, and it has nothing to do with Chris. He likes Chris now. It's me. Once Chris and I get married my dad can no longer claim me on taxes. This is not me being paranoid. My dad has flat out told me this. Is it just me or is that not completely selfish? He makes me feel like crap anytime I even talk about marrying Chris. I hate that he does not want me to marry the man I love, the father of my children, because it will mess up his taxes... Am I being selfish? Because that's how he makes me feel. But then I think about it, and he can't claim me forever. He can only legally claim me as long as I am in college. Am I selfish for wanting to get married before then and messing up his taxes? That's the way he makes me feel. And then he likes to take stabs at us for living together and not being married. It's like I can never make him happy. Either way I am wrong, so I am pretty much done with his crap. If I am being selfish, then so be it.

I want to be able to say that I am married to the father of my children... that I am married to my best friend... heck, that I have the same last name as them. I hate that I don't have the same last name as them. I don't know why, but it really bothers me. Chris has wanted to get married for a long time. We've been engaged for almost four years now. We have a great relationship now, so I feel that it is time to seal the deal.

Anyone have any good suggestions for a date?? Lol!


  1. GO FOR IT! Get married on VDay. Isn't that when he proposed to you? ;) NO! You are NOT selfish! I know exactly how you feel. My Mom did that when we lived with her, and she manipulated us. She was mad because she didn't get childsupport and couldn't claim me on her taxes. She even made us pay the difference in our rent!

    I am so happy for you! I also know how it feels not having their last name and it sucks. Congrats!

  2. I'm sorry. I don't know you except for this blog, and I don't know your father either obviously... But you and Chris live together... So you should be claiming yourself. That is not selfish on your part, it is selfish on your fathers part for wanting to put his taxes over his daughters happiness.

    I know exactly how you feel about not having your kids' last name. Before Brian and I got married I told him all the time that I couldn't stand having a different last name as Kayelynn. Don't get me wrong, I love Brian to death, but finally getting my daughters last name played a huge part in me being in a rush to get married.

  3. Oh, and I know I just wrote a book, but I forgot to say that $60 is amazing for everything that you're getting. Brian and I paid $100 when we went to Tennessee and that was just for a 10 minute little ceremony from a pastor.. At the pastors house. If we could have found something like you're doing we def. would have done that.

  4. We talked to my dad today about it, and we didn't really give him a choice. We told him we are getting married, so he agreed. Hopefully he will stay civil through all of this.

    And I know what you mean about the prices, I looked into one chapel around here and they wanted $400 for the minister, chapel, and reception area, and that was only for 15 guests. I about passed out lol. No way could we ever afford that. Our budget is like $1000 for everything.

  5. I am SOOOO EVCITED for you. I bet it will be beautiful!!! That was selfish of your dad. To be honest I didnt know that he could still claim you past 18. Drew has been claiming me since 17 so i had no idea.
    I hope that yall have a great wedding. You guys deserve it!!