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Friday, December 30, 2011

Preparing to return to school...

Tomorrow is the last day in 2011. I cannot believe it is already the end of the year.
The day I have been dreading is almost here... January 9th I start school again. There is not one bit of me that WANTS to go back, but every bit of me knows that I NEED to go back for my family, so here I am, registered for five classes. The most I have ever taken at once, so that I can stay on track.

Tuesday, Brentley has a doctor's appointment (his four month check-up), and after that I have to go spend over $500 on my text books :( My dad said that we can probably get that money back through my college fund. That would be great! Then, I am going to Wal-Mart to buy paper, binders, pencils, etc. And then, depending on how Brentley is behaving, I may go shopping for the rest of my clothes. I need sweat pants for sure before I start school back because I am taking weight training.

I have also planned to get up about 30 minutes earlier than I normally would, so that I can feed him before I leave. He hates bottles, so I am terrified that he is not going to eat anything the whole time I am gone. If I feed him before I leave, I will at least know he had something. He usually sleeps for five hours at a time. If he had been asleep for five hours and I didn't feed him, then he refused to eat while I was gone, he would go ten hours without eating :( So, I'm not going to let that happen.

Another thing I have to do is organize my breastmilk. I have over 70 bags of breastmilk in the freezer. They all have dates on them, so I want to organize them by date. That way Chris can use the oldest ones first (because they are only good for 6 months, and the oldest ones have already been in there for three months). I believe that I have about 200 oz of breastmilk stored, which is better than I thought, and I still have 11 days to add to that. And I am going to continue to pump everyday after I start school. I decided that for the first couple of days of school I'm not going to try to pump at school. I want to figure out the best place to pump along whatever path I take to my classes. Plus, Brentley can eat baby food in February. Technically, he can eat it now, but I want to hold him off until he's six months old. Once we add baby food he won't need as much milk while I am gone because we can set his schedule up, so that he eats his baby food while I'm at school.

I know I talk about this all the time, but this is literally what is always on my mind. It takes me forever to fall asleep at night because I can't stop thinking about going back to school. What cute thing is Grace going to say while I'm gone? What if Brentley won't eat? What Brentley rolls over, sits up, crawls, says a word, or something while I'm gone? What if I can't handle school and two kids? How well will Chris handle two kids on his own? How are we going to manage to potty train Grace (which we are going to start doing in January)?
I lay awake laying out plans. Like, waking up early to feed Brentley. I also think of things I need to tell Chris. Like how to handle Brentley if he has a poo-explosion (Chris hates poo). Or how much Brentley should eat while I'm gone, and when Grace should eat while I'm gone. It just all seems so overwhelming right now. I know we will make it work, but until we are in the process of making it work, I am driving myself crazy lol.

Luckly we have both babies going to sleep by 11pm now. We are going to try to get them going to sleep at 10pm because I'm going to have to get up around 6am (I am so not a morning person). But at least Grace doesn't have her nights and days mixed up anymore like she did for the longest time after we came home from the hospital.

Okay, I know I'm rambling. I'll stop now lol. I have just a little over 10 days left until I start back. We can do this!

5 comments:

  1. Oh wow. I can't believe it is almost time for you to go back. I know it is heart breaking. I remember leaving Samantha after summer break. I always hated it.

    You can do it though! Just keep reminding yourself that in the end you will get to teach AND be able to be with your babies for the breaks and after school-instead of working 9 to 5. Jessie hardly gets to see Samantha because he works 8 to 5 or later. :/ Things will work themselves out. And Chris will get used to taking care of them both I think. (Jessie hates poo too. lol He never changed Samantha.) Keep us updated on how things are going, please.

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  2. you said that chris watches the kids while you go to school, doesn't he work?

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  3. Brittany, I know it will be worth it in the end, but it just feels like forever until I will be done. I know Chris will do fine with them, but he will do things differently than me. I'm just not used to that lol.

    Anonymous, he does, but I will only be in school until 12pm. He works second shift, so I will be home in plenty of time for him to get to work.

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  4. I can understand that. I would hate to be at school so much, especially after being used to being home with them. I can also understand the thing about him doing stuff different. Jessie hardly has Sam because of that. That and he has no reason to have her usually. I guess I need to let him have time alone with her though.

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  5. You can do it momma!!! Haha! I have faith in you!! I know it's not easy.
    Chris will do a great job. I know how you feel. Drew will be watching all 3 for a couple hours a day while I'm in class and then go straight to work. I worry about them during that time. I do everything right and daddy is going to do stuff differently....sigh.....I'm a control freak!!!

    Brittany I wish Drew worked 8-5!!! Those are awesome hours. Drew will go 18 hours without seeing the babies every day. He has class in the morning to 9:30. He will come home and watch them for a little over 2 and then I will come home and right as I walk in he will be walking out. He will be gone from 1:30pm-10:45pm. Crazy!!! The babies will be asleep when he leaves for naptime and then be asleep when he gets back.
    I will see him even less since I will have class during the time he is home.
    Gets better....he has classes on Saturday so we don't get to see him much that day either.

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