Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Uncertainty...

So on Saturday Chris and I got into a huge fight that resulted in him leaving. He took his stuff and moved to his moms. At first I was sad, but then I started thinking about what was best for Grace and began to cope with it. We have remained friends and talked civilly. Once he called to talk to Grace and I put him on speaker phone.. as soon as she heard his voice the biggest smile appeared on her face, and she smiled and reached for the phone the whole time he was talking. It broke my heart to see her so happy to hear him, but not be able to see him. There was also several times where I caught myself watching TV and thinking "Chris and I can watch that together." and then remembering that we couldn't which made me sad as well. I just miss having my best friend to talk to and laugh with, but then I remember how easily the fun times turned into fights.
Once he texted me and asked if I still wanted him to come to my graduation. I told him it was up to him and he replied "Well it's important to you so it's important to me and I will be there." This meant a lot to me because he really never showed much interest so I didn't think he really cared. Then after he talked with Grace he texted me and said "I have an idea.. I think we should date again and see what happens." I told him I would talk to him about it in person, and today he came and picked us up for Grace's doctor's appointment. Which, she weighs 20lbs and 10oz, and is 28 and three fourths inches long, however at her nine month check up we will be determining if she needs a swallow study done or not because she may have dysphagia.
Anyway.. we talked a lot about anything and everything. On his own he told me that he is looking into taking some GED classes and that by the end of the summer he will have a place that we can afford that has two bedrooms and even has a community pool, and it is in GA! So I wouldn't have to lie about where I live for my financial aid for college (like his mom wanted me to). Speaking of his mom.. she started trying to tell me that I was only thinking of myself and that we needed to get back together and he got mad at his mom and stood up for me.. which NEVER happens. He also said that he will stop blowing our money, and talk to me before he does anything impulsive like he has been doing. He says that he wants to be back for his family and now that he has been thinking about it he sees how many sacrifices I have made for our family and that he will have to make some too. He also kept telling me how beautiful I looked and how he still loved me and Grace, and it was so adorable seeing Grace's face when she saw him... like a kid on Christmas Eve. All of this stuff shows me that I do want to be with him, but he has to stick to his promises.. which he hasn't been so great at. That is exactly why I am not completely getting back together with him. I do not want him thinking that every time we get in a fight he can just run out on us. We have agreed to just go on some dates and spend time together with Grace and see what happens. He will be staying at his moms. He said he would give us money if we needed it, but I really don't care about that. I just want him to take the steps to get on the right track so we can get our family back together. On the plus side we didn't fight at all today :)

Graduating in 3 days!!!

2 comments:

  1. im glad youre taking the time to make sure he can prove himself. he is making an effort..but its only the first couple of days right.? i wish the best for you and grace. i love you both. txt or call or make plans any time you need me. ily girl.

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  2. I am glad you are making him prove himself. I hope he actually gets that place. That would be great! We could both have our own place. =)

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