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Sunday, March 17, 2013

Heartless.

There is a girl who I am friends with on Facebook (we'll call her H)... we went to high school together and were friends in high school. In addition to hanging out at the mall and such, we went to Gatlinburg together with three of our other friends when we were 16, and she was at Grace's baby shower.
We don't talk as much now, but we do keep in touch.

H was pregnant and on Mar. 15th they couldn't find a heartbeat. She delivered her precious angel on Mar. 16th. A tiny baby girl. My heart is literally breaking for her. I just can't imagine.
She posted a picture of her holding the baby and her boyfriend was next to her. I'm not going to lie... it was a very sad picture. The look on her face was one of total heartbreak. However, I completely understand why she posted that picture.

Then I get on Facebook today and see this status...
First off, let me say that I can see how some people might find the picture unsettling. However, I find this status much more unsettling than the picture! The status is completely heartless and judgmental! 
For one thing, I happen to know that the girl who posted this is NOT a mother, and to the best of my knowledge, she has never been pregnant. How can she say "NEVER under ANY circumstances" and "absolutely DISTURBING." She has never been in those circumstances, so how would she know??? 
Although, the thing that really got to me was, "Are you really that desperate for attention?" and "What the hell is wrong with some people?" 
I wish I was mean enough to ask her that very same question! 
If she would've posted something like, "I find it disturbing that people post pictures of their deceased babies," I wouldn't have agreed with her, but I would've scrolled right past it because that's just her opinion. No judgment. No callousness. 
However, given the status as it is, I couldn't scroll past it. I usually avoid Facebook drama, but I couldn't bite my tongue on this one... 


You get the idea of how I feel about this from my comments. I just love how it seems like she thinks she is speaking for everyone. And she is just so sure that the picture was posted for attention.

Also, I would like to make it clear that all that can be seen in the picture is the baby's head, and the baby looked NO DIFFERENT than a premature baby. I really don't see how anyone could see it as disturbing. And like I said, I completely understand why she posted it.

I am so very thankful to have two healthy babies, but I have no doubt that if I would've been in this heartbreaking situation, I would've posted a picture (if not more than one) as well. I would want to share my baby with the world, even if my baby was already gone. And I would like to believe that I could do that without someone making such a harsh status about it the DAY AFTER I lost my baby. Posting this status achieved nothing except making her look heartless in my eyes. 

Again, I'm not upset that she found it disturbing. I don't know why she did, but that's not what bothers me. It's the way she assumes that she knows what is going on in H's head. And that she seems to think she is speaking for everyone. What arrogant things to assume! 
Also, this may be breaking news to some, but you DO NOT have to post every single thing you think/feel to a Facebook status. 
I respect that it's her opinion, but I don't understand why she felt the need to post it. She had to know it would achieve nothing and possibly hurt someone. I just don't understand some people...

Also, if you pray, please say a prayer for H, her boyfriend, and their families. They really need it right now :(



10 comments:

  1. That is so sad! And seriously, how cold and heartless for someone to try to say that she only posted them for everyone to see how sad she was!! Absolutely ridiculous! I bet H would give anything, like you said, to be able to post picture of her and her boyfriend holding their healthy newborn. How sad that they can't even share the only pictures they have without people accusing them of stuff. :(
    I can only imagine how heartbroken she is and how bad she feels already, could you imagine if she were to see people making comments like that? Some people just have no heart.

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    1. I really do hope she NEVER sees it. She doesn't need to have to deal with judgmental people on top of everything else. But that's why I felt like I had to say something. At least, that way, if she did see it, she would see that she had someone on her side.

      And I just love how she was trying to act like she wasn't talking about her. Yeah right. I knew from the moment I saw the status, but when she said "that picture" she all but confirmed it. It shouldn't matter if it was a friend of a friend, you know? It's still a person who lost her child. Some people can't think about anything other than themselves. Instead of worrying about how "disturbed" she is, maybe she should be worrying about the person who has to bury her baby.
      Sorry... I don't mean to rant. I'm just really annoyed by this girl.

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  2. Sounds like she's had an abortion, based off the girls I have worked with in the past. But she still should not have posted that. :(

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    Replies
    1. Really? You'd think she'd be more understanding if she had... or maybe she's one of those people who just doesn't care. Maybe that's what it is because the way she was talking, it seemed like she didn't care about anyone other than herself :(

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    2. I am not sure, but usually over reactions like that are an indicator that someone has. If she had a late term one it may have been extremely disturbing for her. It's extremely hard for some people to comes to terms with, for obvious reasons, and anger is one of the top ways people react. I used to get angry when I saw pregnant women. Even women I didn't know. Some women just become angry people the rest of their lives if they don't deal with it. It doesn't make what she did right at all! And she may not have had one. She could just be a miserable person. You just don't say stuff like that. If it disturbed her, she didn't have to look. Did that girl see her status?

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    3. I guess I can understand that. This girl has always been sort of a you-know-what though. She went to our school... the daughter of the lady in the front office.

      I'm not sure if she saw the status or not. I really hope she didn't!

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  3. Oh how sad! Her and her family will be in my prayers. I know it's not even close to what she is going through but posting pics of sick little Blaikelynne and pics of her on the ventilator breathing or her was kind of part of the railing process. I wanted to show my baby to the world even though she was born as healthy as most... I was still a proud momma.
    That girl is just heartless. That's fine that he thinks that but posting a comment on Facebook like that was just HER looking for attention! That's ridiculous!

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    Replies
    1. That meant to say "healing" process;)

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    2. I completely understand that. And I thought Blaikelynne's pictures were absolutely precious! They were scary, but they didn't bother me at all. I was just worried about her and you guys, hoping everything would be okay. I checking your Facebook trying to see how she was doing.

      I thought about it this morning and I wish I would've said something like, "Oh how terrible it must be that her picture affected your life for one second. Never mind the fact that her life will never be the same, right?"
      I mean, how does a person see any picture like that and think of how it affects them? It's just so selfish.

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    3. *I kept checking your Facebook...

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