Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My fiance and me.

I know I created this blog to show my experiences as a teen mother, but this blog would not be here if it were not for my fiance. We have had our fights, but he really is a wonderful person. In the summer of 2007 my friend and I wanted to go swimming, but we didn't have any money to get into a public pool. She said that her cousin had a pool, so she called him and he said we could come over. When we got there I saw him, and I thought he was really cute, but I knew he was 18 and I was 15, so I thought he would never even look twice at me, but a few minutes after I saw him he came and jumped in the pool. He was flirting with me, but I thought he was just being nice. About a week later I got a phone call from him, and after that we started talking on the phone a lot.I had just come out of one of those "dramatic" teenage relationships, and I felt that I wasn't ready for another relationship. I thought I just wanted to be friends with him. We became close friends quickly, and began hanging out all the time. He would take me places, or we would just hang out at my house. The more I hung out with him the more I realized I was falling for him, and the more I realized that the more scared I got. He had asked me out once already, and I had turned him down. Then one night we were laying on my trampoline looking at the stars and talking (I could tell him anything), and he kissed me. It was the best kiss I had ever have. I had never really felt anything with any of my other kisses, but this one was different, and again that scared me even more. I didn't want to get hurt again. He asked me out again that night, but again I said no. We kept hanging out, and I really began considering going out with him. I was going to spend the night at my friend's (his cousin), and he offered to come take me to her house. While we were outside he asked me out again. I told him I liked him, but I didn't know, so he told me to think about it and call him later that night. I decided I wanted to be with him, so I called him, but it was late and he was already asleep. The next day I called him and we talked for awhile and then he asked me out. That was one July 24th, 2007. Saying yes felt good, and we have been together ever since. We were and always have been great together. After we started going out we talked everyday, and saw each other all the time. He took my to Coolidge Park for our first official date. It's a huge park on the Tennessee River with all kinds of different things to do. There is a giant bridge that goes across the river just for walking. We walked on the bridge, and sat on a bench and looked at the water. At the end of the bridge he bought me a slushy. Then we walked back across and went down into the park. It was getting dark, but we sat at the edge of the water and talked. We now claim that spot where we sat as our spot. It was the best date I had ever been on.
We continued to talk everyday and grew closer and closer. He treated me like I was a princess, and I thought I was falling in love with him. But again that scared me. The first time he said he loved me I pretended that I didn't hear him because I didn't know what to say back. The second time he said it he was fixing to leave my house, we were sitting out front on the hood of his car and he pulled me to him and told me that he loved me. There was no way I couldn't have heard it, so I told him that I thought I did, but I didn't want to tell him something that wasn't true. About a week passed and then he told me that his mom was sending him to live two hours away to work with his uncle. It was a well paying job, but I was devastated that he was moving away. We agreed to try a long distance relationship, and the night before he left we were sitting in his car and I leaned over and whispered in his ear "I love you." When I said it I knew it was true, and I wished I would have said it back the first time he said it to me. We talked every night and he drove to see me every weekend. I loved the weekends because we spent all our time together, but it was awful having to say goodbye on Sunday night. Eventually he said he didn't want to leave me anymore. He told his mom he was moving back home. She did not take that well. She had cosigned on his car, so she took it from him, and there was nothing he could do about it. Then she hid his phone from him. She did everything she could to get us to break up. She never liked me for no reason other than my age. When we had only been dating for two week, and I had never even dreamed of having sex with him, she was giving him pamphlets on statutory rape. Aside from that, Chris worked really hard to save up the money for a car of his own, but little did I know he was saving up for a ring as well. On my birthday (February 3rd) in 2008 he came to my house, got down on one knee and handed me a rose, and asked me to marry him. Inside the rose was a beautiful white gold, diamond ring. I said yes, and we have been engaged ever since. We hardly ever fought. We were so close people told us we made them jealous. Around April of 2008 we lost our virginity to each other. I do not regret that at all. I know we are meant to be married and he is the only one I ever want to be with. We were just a normal happy couple for almost a year. We had both talked about how we definitely wanted children, but we decided we didn't want any at the time. We were going to wait until I got out of high school and I got married. However, in March of 2009 I realized that I was late and I just kept getting later and later until I was two weeks late. That is when I took a pregnancy test and it came back instantly positive. We both agreed that we would never abort our baby, and that we wanted to keep it. After the initial shock set in we were both even excited, but then when I was about 5 months pregnant things turned sour. I really am still not sure what happened. We went from a couple that never fought and were getting ready to start a family to him never calling me, never coming over, and not talking when he did answer the phone. Then that is when I finally got him to confess to me that he had cheated on me. I never in my wildest dreams thought he would do that to me. My perfect world was shattered, and I was pregnant. I was extremely hurt and even more confused. I was determined to figure out what had happened, and if our relationship could be saved I was going to save it. I found out that it was with a girl I had met who knew we were engaged and that I was pregnant. Eventually we talked about it and he explained what happened. Basically it boiled down to him being afraid that he wasn't going to be a good father. We decided that we were going to give it another try for our baby, and amazingly our relationship was better than ever. He treated me amazing. He says he did because he realized he almost lost the best thing that ever happened to him, and that he almost threw away his family. From then on he came to every doctors appointment he could, bought things for Grace, took me baby shopping, took me on dates, gave me roses randomly, and told me he loved me all the time. Life was great again, and then it was time. He was right there by my side through the whole delivery. He was a great helper, and wonderful to me through the whole thing. Whatever I needed he was there for me. He is a great father. Recently his Grandpa died. He was like a dad to him, so he took it really hard. I am trying to understand what he is going through, but no one close to me has ever died, so I can only be there for him. His emotions have caused some fights, but he is coping a lot better now. I know he just needs time to heal and I am trying to work with him on that. We are now going strong and have been together for over two and a half years now. Despite our struggles I love him with all my heart and I would die inside if I ever lost him. The only thing that would keep me going was our baby girl. He is wonderful to both of us. There could not be a more involved father, and loving fiance. I love my fiance :)

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