Grace was sick again :(

On Monday of last week Grace was taking a nap, but this nap was oddly long, so I went to check on her, and she felt like she was on fire. I immediately checked her temperature and it was 102.6.. whoa! She had no other signs that she was sick, and had been fine earlier in the day, she was really fussy, but I figured it was probably just a combination of the room being hot and her teething, so I just gave her some baby Tylenol and a little over an hour the fever broke, even though she was still fussy I figured it was just the teething and thought all would be fine. However, the next day she was even more fussy and would not even let anyone but me hold her, so I had to stay home from school, and around 6 pm (after her doctor had already closed) the fever returned. I knew something was up then. I gave her some more baby Tylenol and the fever went away, but returned as soon as the Tylenol wore off, and it continued this cycle all night. She also would not sleep that night.. she just cried and cried and cried. I actually asked my mom to watch her for me so I could get a little rest because I could barely hold my eyes open or my head up. I have never done that before when I didn't absolutely have to so that shows how desperate I was. The next morning I called the doctor to squeeze her in, but they could not see her until 11:30, so I stayed home with her again that day. She was just miserable. She wouldn't sit up or even smile, and that is not like Grace at all. She just wanted to lay against me and be rocked, or walked around. That was the only things that would keep her from crying and at times those things did not even work. Finally we got to go to the doctor.. we sat in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, but when we finally got back there he checked her out, and said that everything looked normal, so he was going to take some blood to do a white blood cell count. Immediately when I heard that my mind jumped to leukemia, because that is a test they do. Chris kept assuring me it wouldn't be that, but as a mother I couldn't help but panic inside. The nurse came and took some blood. She had to poke her twice because the first time didn't produce enough blood. Then she took the blood to be tested and when the doctor came back in he said a normal white blood cell count was 8,000 to 12,000 and Grace's was 20,000! That is good news in one way though because with leukemia the count would be low, not high. However, we still didn't know what was wrong. He said she was probably fighting off some sort of viral infection, and he sent us to the hospital to have tests done. The first thing they did was took two xrays of her chest, which Chris and I had to hold her down for. The next thing they did was take a urine sample with a catheter, then they took her temperature in her bottom and she had never had that before, then they took two things of blood for testing, and the last thing they did was give her a shot of antibiotics. For all of this stuff I had to hold her down while she struggled and cried.. I hated it.. she just kept looking at me like "Mommy, why are you letting them do this to me? Why are you letting them hurt me?" Also, they told me that the antibiotics would sting her, and you could tell they did because I have never heard her screams so loud! It broke my heart, but I knew it was for the best. After all that was done we had to wait 30 minutes to insure she didn't have a reaction to the antibiotics, she cried for 25 of those minutes. The next day I had to go back to school, so my mom watched her and then I took her back to the doctor when I got home as he requested. She had still been running a fever and crying for long periods of time, and when I told him that he ordered another shot of antibiotics. She didn't scream so much as cry that time which was good, and then we had to wait for 20 minutes there to insure she didn't have a reaction. She fell asleep after about 5 minutes this time, and when he came back in he told me that all the test he had gotten back so far were negative, and that he wanted to follow up the next day. I went to school while my mom watched her again. She had run a slight fever, but nothing like she had been, but she was still fussy. About an hour before we left she had diarrhea, but I think she was just cleaning the virus out of her system. When we went to the doctor he said everything was negative, so it was just a viral infection with an unknown cause. He told us to see how she was over the weekend, and bring her back if she didn't get better. This was Friday and I had to work that night, but when I left she seemed to feel better. She still didn't sleep well that night, but when she woke up the next morning she was her old self again. She is all better now :) The week of crying is finally over, which is a relief to me, but I am even more relieved that she finally feels better! I hate seeing her so miserable. 

Things that define me..

I am a mother.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a fiance.
I am a best friend.
I am a Christian.
I am a woman.
I am a teenager.
I am a student.
I am inteligent.
I am loyal.
I am prompt.
I am a kind person.
I am easy to get along with.
I am thrifty when it comes to money.
I am not a fighter, but I will fight for what I believe is right.
I am a girly girl.
I am organized.
I am big on keeping track of the memories.
I am a person who sees that the little things in life do matter.
I am NOT a smoker, drinker, drug abuser, or partier.
I am a hard worker.
I am short.
I am strong.
I am a texter.
I am one of those people who likes to know what is going on.
I am a republican.
I am strongly against abortion as I believe it is murder.
I am constantly taking pictures and videos.
I am almost always busy.
I am aspiring to be a teacher.
I am getting used to this new life and loving every minute of it.
I am me.. Christina Amber.

Before I was a mom...

Before I was a mom:

• I was never concerned with how much money I spent or what I spent it for.
• I never worried about where the closest hospital was or which hospital was the absolute best.
• I was never certain about how I wanted to spend my day.
• I never cared about what was on television or what kind of music was being listened to.
• I spent my morning making sure I looked the way I wanted.
• I went to school partially to socialize.
• I had never known what it was like to share a room with someone, much less a bed.
• I never drove the speed limit. .
• I did not care how long I was out or where I went.
• I had no idea what it was like to be friends with someone else who had a child.
• I never thought about rather or not a person would be a good influence on a child.
• I never wanted to get home quick. 
• I never asked for help.

Before I was a mom:

• I never worried about a simple cold.
• I had never wanted to change a diaper before.
• I had never had to soothe cries.
• I never had to kiss a boo-boo.
• I never cried when someone got a shot.
• I was never concern with the temperature of water or food.
• I never had to give someone two baths in a row because they peed in the water.
• I never had to give someone a bath period.
• I had never been thrown up on and did not mind.
• I never wondered what kind of formula was best for a baby.
• I never cried because I did not know why someone else was crying.
• I was never concerned about making someone else look presentable.
• I only had to make sure I was buckled in the car.
• I never had to carry so many things with me just to go to the grocery store.
• I never worried about whether food was nutritious enough or not.
• I never had to go back home because we left the bottle.
• I had never wiped a runny nose and did not mind.
• I was never peed on.
• I was never pooped on.
• I never tried to get a boggie out.
• I never stayed up all night because someone else did.
• I had never held something until my arms fell asleep.
• I was never woke up at night to make sure someone was breathing.
• I never had to be quiet for nap time.
• I never had to make sure all the supplies were stocked.
• I never wondered where a simple scratch came from.
• I was never concerned as to whether or not I was doing everything correct.

Before I was a mom:

• I never looked into someone's eyes and instantly fell in love.
• I simple grin never made me so happy.
• I had never had a laughing contest.
• I had never held someone in my arm so I could feel them breathing.
• I never watched someone sleep so peacefully.
• I had never known something could be so innocent.
• I never thought toys could be so fun again.
• I never knew that watching a milestone be reached would be so amazing.
• I have never had so much pride in something I helped to create.
• I never knew the coos would be so adorable.
• I had no idea that I would love spending my days filled with nothing more than being a mom.
• I did not know that she would be so beautiful.
• I was amazed at how strong she is.
• I never knew saying "she's not sick anymore" could bring me so much happiness.
• I did not know that she could make her father go from a charming boy to a wonderful man.
• I never knew I could take so many pictures and videos.
• I did not know I could brag about something so much.
• I had no clue my heart could feel so complete.
• I never wanted time to freeze to keep her the way she is, but go on to see her grow at the same time.
• I had never hugged someone as much as I hug her.
• I did not know how wonderful it felt to come home, and see her face light up when she saw me.
• I had no clue I could say someone's name so many times in one day.
• I did not know how awesome it would feel to see her respond to her name.
• I was unaware of how much I could long to hear her say "mama."
• I did not know how much fun just going on a walk could be.
• I had no idea what a perfect family felt like.
• I never knew what my purpose in life was.
• I did not know how blessed I truly was.
• I could not imagine my life without her.
• I never knew I would LOVE being a mommy.
• I did not know I could love someone as much as I love my daughter Amberlee Grace Evans :)