The sacrifices we make..

So the other day I mentioned that I wouldn't be able to claim my Pell grant because of my schools mistakes.. well long story short, the biggest mistake they made was that they didn't correctly inform me on what the requirements were for getting Pell for the summer. I was told on several occasions that there was no way I could receive Pell for the summer, then after I started my classes I found out that this was incorrect. In actuality a person could receive Pell for the summer if they had 6 or more credit hours. I only had 4 because I never knew anything about the 6. So basically I was awarded Pell, but couldn't claim it unless I had 6 or more hours..

So here's where the sacrifice part comes in.. I've talked about how starting in June I will be at school from 12-7 on Tues. and Thurs.. well now I picked up another c-session class (the type of class that crams a semesters worth of stuff into one month). I am going to be at school from 8 - 10:30 am on Mon. and Wedn. and then on Tues. and Thurs. (starting June 16th) I am going to be at school from 8 am - 7 pm :( This will give me 7 credit hours instead of 4, which means that when I start these classes in June I will be able to claim my Pell grant.

This has it's pros and cons..

Pros:

• Obviously getting to get my Pell grant, which really need with for my car, stuff for Brentley, Brentley's baby shower, Grace's birthday, and Christmas (and trust me I will make it last that long).
• I get anoth class over with, so now I will only have to take 2 classes when I go back in the Spring, which hopefully means I will only have to go two days a week in the Spring too.
• I am going to have a 2 hour break in between each of my classes on Tues. and Thurs. so I can use that time to work on my assignments.
• Having to go four days a week for this one month is better than having to go four days a week for the entire Spring semester (almost 4 months). It saves lots of gas, and will probably make it easier for me to continue breastfeeding Brentley.

Cons:

• I am now going to be taking two c-session classes, which are notoriously hard because of everything being crammed into one month.
• The extra class I picked was the only class available that I am required to take. It actually wasn't even available, I had to go to the professor and tell her my story, and she was kind enough to overfill her class to let me in.. but this class is speech, which I am horrible at public speaking, and I mean HORRIBLE. I was trying to avoid taking speech with a jumbo belly because that is only going to make it worse for me.. I used to be fine at public speaking, but ever since I had to do a speech when I was pregnant with Grace I haven't been the same, and I can't control it :( I start studdering, breathing hard, turning red, shaking, stumbling over my words, etc. So I have a feeling I am not going to do very well in this class at all :(
• I have to go four days a week starting in June, plus those 12 hour days (with driving) on Tues. and Thurs. but luckily it's only 10 days all together.
• I'm going to be losing precious time with Grace.. luckily she will sleep through most of that 8 am class though, so I won't be missing much more time with her than I was going to already.
• It's an 8 am class, and I am not a morning person at all.

But I know that this will be best for us in the long run. I just keep telling myself it's only 10 12 hour days, so I can do it. I just hope I don't completely bomb speech. The only reason I am doing this is so that my kids can have the best.

Finally got some videos of her dancing!!

 

This is her dancing to "The Dino Dance." It is her favorite song right now :)
----->>> Well stupid Blogger won't load this one :( If anyone wants to see it I uploaded it to my facebook.

This is her doing what she does EVERY time "I Love You" plays.. usually she has Chris' hand too, but he wasn't here, so she settled for just me lol.

We are going to eat at Red Lobster for my nana's 75th birthday at 4 today! Happy birthday nana! (Even though she will never read that lol). Not so thrilled about Red Lobster though.. I'm not a seafood person, and even if I was I'm pregnant, so I can't eat much there anyway lol. Looks like I'll be eating chicken fingers. Chris is thrilled though, it's his favorite restaurant lol.. It's my mom's and nana's favorite restaurant too.. I'm starting to think I'm adopted :p just kidding.

Ugg what is best for my children??

I have all of these things in my head for how I want to raise my children, but there are two things majorly on my mind right now.. VACCINES and CIRCUMCISION..

Vaccines:
-With Grace I will admit that I did not do a lot of research on anything, so I didn't know much about vaccines at all. All I knew was that my family believes my brother contracted autism from something he was given during his surgery, so they no longer trusted vaccines either. I talked to Grace's doctor about it, and she gave us the option of breaking them up.. 2-3 at a time instead of the sometimes 4-5 at a time. She said that the autism thing wasn't really a factor, but that there was the possibility of overloading the child's immune system to the point that they could POSSIBLY contract one of the viruses they were being vaccinated for IF it was a live virus. Well Grace got sick so much just in her first couple of months of life that I knew I didn't want to take any chances with her immune system, but I also felt "better safe then sorry" as far as getting her vaccinated, so we opted for the breaking them up. To this day Grace has never had a full set of vaccines on time, and I am happy with this decision because there were many times that she got a fever after her vaccines. It has made our life a little more busy because we have to come in in between regular appointments to get her the rest of her vaccines, but I don't mind at all.
Since I have started my Pyschology class at school I have actually learned a lot about vaccines/autism.. I learned that the notorious study that linked autism to vaccines has since been completely discreditted. 10 of the 12 people behind the study have even admitted to it's faults.. it was biased, unethical, not repeatable, and they did not account for the illusory correlation. Basically there is NO connection between autism and vaccines for normal healthy children.

However, there was a study done on children who had immune dificiencies or disorders. In this study it was proven that vaccines could cause autism. I think this is what happened in my brother's case because Down Syndrome dampens the immune system, so I think something he was given during his surgery caused his autism.

I mention the illusory correlation.. by this I am referring to what appears to be a link when there really isn't one. Children who have autism typically start showing symptoms around the age of two, which is the same time that the MMR vaccine is given..

But here is my problem.. autism hits very close to home for me because of my brother. I feel like if one of my children was to develop autistic tendencies I would want to know for 100% sure that it wasn't something I could have prevented.. I feel like if I get my kids vaccinated and then they start exhibitting autistic symptoms I am always going to be wondering "what if?" I almost feel like stopping Grace's vaccines until she is older.. she's not in day care, so she isn't required to have them, but then I think, what if she contracts something that I could have vaccinated her for?  Then I would 100% know it was my fault.. it's just so hard. At this point I plan to keep vaccinating her in the broken up schedule like we have before, and I plan to have Brentley vaccinated the same way, but it is still something that constantly weighs on my mind..
Does anyone else have any advice, experiences, feedback, etc?


Circumcision:
- Chris and I are struggling with the idea of having Brentley circumsized. I have been doing some research on it, and I know that for the most part it is considered purely cosmetic.. however (PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS GET BACK TO CHRIS! HE WILL KILL ME IF HE KNOWS I TALKED ABOUT THIS) Chris is not circumsized. At first he was very adamant about having Brentley vaccinated for a couple of reasons.. one I'm not going to say because it's way too much information, but the other is infections.. this is TMI too, but Chris keeps his umm.. area.. very clean. He always has, but recently he has been prone to infections. His doctor tells him every time that it just happens with some guys.. there's nothing they can do about it except get circumsized. Which when the guy is an adult is supposedly very painful after the proceedure is done. I think about how clean Chris keeps his, and he still gets infections, so it makes me wonder.. when Brentley is like 8 he's not going to want me cleaning it for him, but how clean is an 8 year old capable of keeping it (just using 8 as an example, could be any age when they are doing things like that for themselves)??
But then, on the other hand, I have heard the horror stories.. bauched circumcision where the little boy is deformed for life, babies dying from bleeding to death, things like that. I feel like I could take the bleeding to death to heart, and just check him constantly to insure he is not bleeding.. However, I know I am not in control of how the proceedure turns out. Btw, Brittany, did you ever find out which doctor it was when it happened to the little boy we were talking about? Was it Tinsley?

There are a few things that I don't factor in.. I don't feel that if we left him uncircumsized that he would be made fun of or rejected or anything like that. Many guys are uncircumsized now, so I don't think it would be a big deal there, and I know I don't mind Chris being uncircumsized, and I know several girls whose guys are uncircumsized, and they don't mind, so I don't think that there are many girls who would reject him.
On the other hand, I know that my insurance does not consider it cosmetic, and they will pay for it. I also know that if it is done in the hospital where I am planning to have Brentley that they do use a topical numbing cream. I know a girl who works there, and she has helped out with circumcisions.. she says most of the boys who are born there have it done, and that a lot of them don't even cry, and if they do cry they start crying beforehand because they are strapped to that table and they don't like it (which I'm not thrilled with the idea of strapping them down, but it doesn't hurt them), and once they are off the table they stop crying. I've also read about a new proceedure some doctor's use that is called Plastibell I think. Instead of cutting the skin off they use some sort of plastic ring thing.. it pretty much kills the skin. Kind of like a cord clamp.. once the cord dies it falls off, well once the skin dies it falls off, and it is supposedly painless and much safer for the baby because there is no open wound. I am going to look into seeing if Brentley's doctor offers that (assuming they aren't the people who messed up the person Brittany knows..).
I know I've already talked to most of you about this, but I just really needed to get it all my thoughts out so I can get them organized

I just really don't know what to do in these two situations! These are situations that could honestly effects my children's futures. I hate having to make decisions like these! I wish someone would make them for me, so I could blame it on them if I make the wrong decision LOL, but I know that is not possible. I am just going to keep researching, and hope I can get to a place where I am comfortable with my decisions.