Being a young mom means we met a little early, but I get to love them longer.


Here are some links to helpful posts I have done in the past :)

Learn about car seat safety HERE!

Need breastfeeding advice? Click HERE for lots of helpful tips!

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Thursday, July 29, 2010

A wonderful anniversary, but a horrible dinner party..

So on our anniversary Chris, Grace, and I went to eat at Chili's, which was yum! And then we drove over to the mall near our apartment. He had never been before, and I hadn't been in a long time, but it was actually a pretty decent mall.. it was no Hamilton Place, but I would probably say it was equal with Northgate if not better. We checked out the shops, and we were going to get our pictures done in one of those little photo booths, but it was out of order :(

Then we went home so Grace could take a nap, and then we went to Morgan's. She had invited us to a dinner party at her new apartment (I think I've talked about her before, she has a baby just a couple months older than Grace name Christian). At first it was fun. She was there with Christian and her bf Josh, and there was another couple there who had a precious 2 week old baby. She was tiny! And they had another girl their age with them. We all ate and talked about parenthood, and watched Grace and Christian play (Grace LOVES to play with Christian because they are on the same level developmentally). Then the other couple and their friend said they had to leave to take the baby to the girl's mom's house to spend the night. It kind of shocked me that they were leaving her overnight at such a young age. Grace has never stayed the night anywhere, but I just figured every person did things differently. They said they would be coming back later, and when they did they had alcohol with them. I was a little surprised that Morgan didn't mind it in her house because I would not want it in mine, but of course it wasn't my place to say anything. The guy was drinking a beer so I assumed it was for him (keep in mind none of these people were 21). Josh (Morgan's boyfriend) kept talking about how he wanted to rent Bounty Hunter and asked Chris and the other guy if he wanted to ride with him to go get it. While they were gone the two girls started doing shots right in front of Grace!! They were popping them back like it was nothing, and the one girl was breast feeding her baby. You may be thinking.. maybe it was just a one time thing.. but she started talking about how she was doing shots the day before. And I witnessed this girl pumping her breastmilk to give to her baby. I am not sure how long breastmilk stays in your system but if she was drinking like she says she was I am pretty sure she was probably giving some to her baby.. And then the other girl kept trying to play with Grace, and she was drunk! She was stumbling everywhere and mumbling. I wanted to leave so bad, but Chris was gone for like an hour. When he got back he pulled me aside and said we needed to leave. I was definitely ready, and when we got to the car he told me that instead of going to get the movie they wanted him to buy more alcohol for them! That could get Chris put in jail considering that is ILLEGAL! And then when they were turning back on the street the guy driving (not Josh) said "I'm glad we didn't get pulled over because I have an open container." Um... hello! If they would have gotten pulled over it would have been Chris that got hit because he was the only one who was 21! I was soooo angry!
Oh and coincidentally.. the girl who was breastfeeding and popping back a shot a minute.. her name was Jenelle. Apparently if your name is Jenelle you are destined to be a bad mom. At one point we were sitting in the living room and she asked Morgan and me if we ever regretted having a baby so young??? I mean her baby is only two weeks old and she is regretting her? And she said she breaks down crying all the time? I only broke down and cried once, and that was when I was at the worst part of my breastfeeding experience, sleep deprived, and Grace had RSV so she needed extra care and we couldn't leave the house at all, and I only cried for a few minutes and I was good. I feel so bad for that poor girl's baby.

In other news.. we had to call 911 on our neighbors two nights ago..
There were two girls that lived beneath us and the other day one kicked the other one our. The girl was parked right under our bedroom window so I heard every last bit of the blow out. They were screaming bloody murder at each other, and the one that got kicked out has a little girl about 3 years old, and they were screaming right in front of her, but the girl got in her car and left. Then two nights ago she came back for her stuff, and the world must have come to an end because we could here things banging off the walls, people screaming, and the little girl crying. Then they took it outside, the were literally trying to kill each other, and the poor little girl was screaming hysterically! They didn't even care about here. There is a girl who lives across the hall from them and she came out to comfort the little girl. For about 5 minutes we just listened until they started hitting each other and then I called 911. I figured by the time the police got there they would have stopped fighting, but the police actually had to break them up!! They police were there for over an hour and they had to bring an ambulance and everything. It was crazy! I just hope that girl doesn't come around anymore and try to start trouble. I'm not sure if they got arrested or sent to the hospital or what, but it was scary.

Friday, July 23, 2010

More on the apartment.

We got our table today! It's nothing fancy, but at least we can eat around the kitchen table now :)

Also Grace has learned a few new words.. she now says "dada" and whenever someone says "uh oh" she ill say "uh uh" It's so cute!!
She is also taking steps with her push walker now!! And cruising pretty well. And her top left center tooth came through last week!! She is growing up so fast!!!

Tomorrow is mine and Chris' 3 year anniversary (we decided to use the original date despite the break up because we didn't want to get confused, and weren't even broken up for a month). We are not sure what we are going to do yet because we do not have much money this month and we will have Grace with us. We are probably going to go eat and check out some of the parks where we live, but I am still excited :)

More pics :) :)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Our new life..

So we are all settled in now. I had pics, but I am dumb and forgot to put the memory card in my camera so they are saved to my camera instead of a memory card, so I can't put them on the computer because the camera cord is at the apartment and I am at my moms. I just finished orientation for college. Grace stayed with my mom today.. it was the longest I have ever left her anywhere.. about 9 hours :( But I got all my classes scheduled. I go Monday through Thursday for 12:15 to 2:55, so it's really not that bad. I was surprised.. I really thought it would be like six hours a day. But she said that was full time so that is fine with me!

As far as the apartment goes.. everything is set up now. We ended not getting that entertainment center, because Chris' mom gave us one for free. It's kind of old and ugly, but it was free so it works for now. Less money we have to spend. I also got my bookshelf and all the picture frames up, so everything is done. The cable/internet people are coming the 26th, but I still won't have internet until the 7th of next month because I don't get my laptop until the 6th of next month (tax free day.. I planned that on purpose so I don't have to pay the tax money). We are also getting a table soon that Chris' mom found for us. I am kind of nervous about it because I haven't seen it yet, but again.. it's free. So I will live with whatever it is lol.
We still need a toy box, lots of electrical outlet covers, and some curtains, but those aren't mandatory things. We probably won't be able to get those things for awhile because we have tons of birthdays coming up! My mom's, sister's, and Christian's (Morgan's son) are all next month, Sami's is in September, and Cayle is having his party in October, and then there is Grace's and Chris' in November, so we are birthday booked lol. I'm excited though!

Hopefully I will get to post pics of the finished product soon. My friend Ashley is coming over tonight to see it. She will be our first house guest since we got it all together :)
Can't wait until I have internet again.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mostly moved in..

Grace's Room ^^^^:

Our Room:

(That TV is not going to stay in there. We are just waiting for our entertainment center)

The Bathroom:


The Living Room:

(Only unfinished room because we need our entertainment center and bookshelf)

The Kitchen:


Our First Dinner:


Grace taking a bath in her new tub:


I just thought this was cute:

We are adjusting to life fairly well at our new place. We are almost completely settled in. As you can probably tell from the pic the living room is the only room not finished. We are getting our entertainment center, bookshelf, and the TV for our room today so I can finally get the rest set up! Also we need a toy box for Grace's room because we don't have anywhere to put her toys.. That's what is in those boxes under her bed. There is also three boxes of toys in the closet lol. The girl is spoiled. We have met a few of our neighbors. They seem nice. A couple of guys even offered to help Chris carry some stuff in. And yesterday I saw six kids playing outside! Only one of them looked to be about Grace's age, and it was a boy. There was a girl, but she look about 2 or 3. I really just can't wait until we have everything settled in. I loved cooking dinner last night. I never thought I would enjoy cooking and cleaning, but I even liked washing the dishes with Chris. I'm sure that will wear off soon though lol. Grace is still getting used to it. She likes her room because she can actually get to all the toys.

Also we won't be getting internet until next month (I am at my moms now), so I won't be on very much, but I will do the best I can.


Monday, July 12, 2010

It is ours!!!!!!!

Words can't even explain how excited I am! The guy called this morning and said everything checked out, and it was definitely going to be ours!! Now all he has to do is get the carpet in.. he didn't want to put it in unless we were for sure getting it. The guy was supposed to do it today, but we haven't heard anything.. they also have to put in the dishwasher, and put on the shower head, and put on the closet doors. So I will understand if it takes them a few days, but I realllllly hope it doesn't! Tomorrow is my only completely free day. I have to go take my compass test for school (bummer) on Wednesday, and I have to go renew our WIC on Thursday (which always takes hours..), then as long as it doesn't rain I will have to work Friday.. I really hope we can start taking stuff tomorrow. Chris is going to look at an entertainment center tomorrow morning. We thought we were going to be able to use the one at my house, but it doesn't fit the tv :( We looked on criagslist and found a nice one for a pretty good deal so Chris is going to check it out tomorrow.

In other news.. Chris went to traffic court today for his reckless driving ticket. That is one thing I was terrified about. We had $500 put away for the fine, but he could also face losing his license, going to driving school, or even going to jail. I went with him and I am glad I did.
The first guy to go up there was going like 20 something miles over the speed limit and had 6 prior tickets. He never said yes sir or yes ma'am, and he lied (you could tell he was lying), so pretty much as soon as he got up there the judge asked for his license. Of course the guy "didn't have it" because it had been "stolen." But I was terrified at that point! He was so harsh on that guy, and I just new that he was going to be harsh on Chris. He even played a video of a person not even going as fast as that guy who slammed into a school bus. Luckily none of the children were hurt, but the three people in the car were killed. The video was caught by one of the speed cams in Chattanooga (about 15 minutes from my house). Chris was called up after that guy. The judge read what happened and asked him to explain himself. Chris actually did very well. He just told the truth, and he said yes sir and yes ma'am (the person who swore him in was a woman). Chris told him it was a bit of road rage, so the judge started asking him if he had anger problems, he told him no. And somehow they got on the subject of us fixing to move to Dalton. The judge asked him if his fiance was here and he said yes, and the judge made me come up there! He asked me if Chris ever had any anger problems towards me.. I told him no. Then the judge told Chris that since he was trying to make a life for his family he was going to reduce his charge to "too fast for conditions" in case Chris ever tried to get a job that required driving (you can't get one if you have reckless driving on your record). That helped us out soooo much! The fine was only $200 and that included court costs. Chris also said after seeing that video he never wanted to speed again. We'll see how that goes because he has a bit of a lead foot, but he has gotten a lot better since the baby was born. He got that ticket when we were broken up.

So then we had $300 extra that we didn't think we would so we went to Wal-Mart and got Grace a night stand type thing, a microwave, some tupperware, a strainer, and a measuring cup (I plan on doing lots of cooking). All that was only $80 though, so we still have $220 extra, which is a blessing! Because we still need a couch and kitchen table and chairs, and that will help.
Also, my mom is coming around somewhat. As I suspected she wasn't too happy about the whole thing.. still isn't, but I wasn't going to be living here forever whether I had a baby or not. She's being nicer tonight though. She called me while I was at Chris' and said that she would give me the spice rack she has, and some other stuff. She pretty much said I could have whatever I wanted. I'm not going to take all her stuff, but I do want the spice rack lol. She has three so I don't think it would make much of a difference.
Lastly, I have about 20 boxes packed! Still a ton more stuff to go. I used all my boxes, so Morgan brought me six more today. I already have boxes stacked everywhere. I don't know where I am going to put more lol. I really hope we can move in soon.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Apartment update..

Still haven't heard anything from the guy yet, but everyone is reassuring me that it is the weekend, and I just need to give him a little time lol. He did say that he wouldn't take our deposit if he wasn't going to give it to us, but I guess it all just seems so surreal to me. It's like I have wanted this for so long, and I am terrified that it is going to get ripped away from me.
It better not though because I am going to have a lot of unpacking to do. I already have six boxes packed. All things we don't use at the moment of course. Like stuffed animals, kitchen stuff, and bathroom stuff. I also went to Wal-Mart today and got some small things.. like our own shampoo, soap, gloves for washing dishes.. things like that. Also Grace broke her little change bank the other day (she knocked it off the night stand), so I wanted to get her a new one.. we went over there and looked at them, but I didn't have the money for one today. Chris took it from me and put it in the cart, and I was like "what are you doing?" And he said he was going to buy it for her. He has been so sweet to both of us these last few weeks. So now she will have a pretty piggy bank to put in her room :) That is a pic of it that I got off Walmart.com. I love it!

Also we actually have a lot more furniture than I thought. We have a bed for us, a bed for Grace, a bookshelf for us, a bookshelf for Grace, a high chair, a dresser for us, a dresser for Grace, an entertainment center, two tvs, a coffee table, several large toys for Grace, and Grace's bathtub. All we really need is a couch, a kitchen table and chairs, and two night stands (one for us and one for Grace).
We also need smaller things like trash cans and a microwave.

Chris' mom is actually helping us out and letting us have Chris' bed and dresser (we are going to leave my bed for my sister), she is also giving us the coffee table, some dishes, and some pots and pans. No telling what else she'll get before we actually move out. They are also going to help us move by letting us use her SUV and her husbands truck to haul stuff in. His mom is super excited about us moving out, but she doesn't like that we are moving further away. I told Chris to tell her we would go eat dinner with them once a week if that made it easier, and as long as we could go see my family too. Maybe I should make it alternating weeks.. once with my family, once with his?
On the other hand I don't think my mom will take it too well. I am going to tell her tonight, but I don't think she will take it well. I'm not sure if she will be sad or mad, but I don't like either one. I have never not lived in the same house as her so I think it will be hard on her. I'm nervous to tell her, but I know I have to. She will be happy for us one day when we prove we are capable, but I think she's worried we will end up on the streets or fighting all the time or something.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Pictures of the apartment :)

The living room (there will be carpet):

What would be our bed room:

What would be Grace's bedroom (he said he would put the closet doors back on):

And the bathroom:

I somehow didn't get a picture of the kitchen, and these pictures make everything look a lot smaller. The rooms are bigger than they look.

We found it!!!!!!!!!!

The apartment near Gracie Rd. didn't work out.. the guy wouldn't call us back, so we started looking on Craigslist again, and I found an apartment in Dalton. It's a little bit away from my family.. probably 20 minutes, and about 35 minutes away from Chris' family, but it is only three miles from Dalton State! (That's where I am going to be starting college in the fall). The guy was very nice to us, he showed us around and let us take pictures. There was no carpet in the living room, but he is going to put it in, so we will have new carpet! It already has new new paint and a new dishwasher. It's $550 a month, but that covers water, garbage, and... electric! Up to $85, but I highly doubt we will use more than that. The bathroom, living room, and kitchen are all good sized, and there is a bigger bed room and a smaller bed room. We filled out the application and put down a $200 deposit, and the guy told us that as long as everything checked out it was ours!!!!
It really finally is going to happen. I have to start packing and buying. He said the apartment will be ready next week and we can move in as soon as it is! I am soooooooo excited!

I am sad though because I won't be living close to TN anymore.. I am so used to just being able to drive up there in 15 minutes. I'm glad I only have to go there one day a week for work!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

This may be it!!

I truly do believe Chris has matured more then I ever thought he would. When his grandpa died he got his step-dad's truck (his step-dad got his grandpa's), and before we separated all Chris talked about was how he was going to fix it up and show it off. Well while we were on vacation Chris sold it for about $2000 (it wasn't the nicest truck in the world), and he last night he told me that we were going to start looking for apartments because that would cover first months rent, the security deposits, and the electric bill and deposit. We will have enough for the bills each month, but if he hadn't sold the car we wouldn't have been able to afford the deposits. Next month I will be getting my grants for school and we are going to use some of that to buy furniture (I will have plenty left over). We went and looked at a place today that his mom sent us too, but it was not right for us at all. It was tiny.. there was only one bed room, and you had to walk through the bedroom to get to the bathroom. The only thing I like was that it had a washer and dryer. SO we looked on Craigslist.. at first we saw that place that Brittany was going to move into, but it's not exactly where we want to live since the landlord tried to pull one over on Brittany and Jessie. Then we found a place that is still in Ringgold, it's $430 a month with water and garbage included, it's a two bedroom, and it's on a quiet street. We are going to go see it tomorrow! And we looked up the directions on Google Maps so we would know how to get there and the street right next to it is called Gracie Lane. It's like it's a sign or something. I don't know.. I just have this feeling that this is going to be the place. I really hope it is. If we like it we are going to put in an application immediately! Chris has good credit so we shouldn't have any problems there.
I was just really impressed with Chris.. usually I would have to suggest something like that and we would fight over it, but he put his family before himself, and actually stepped up to the plate. Now we may be able to live together again. I reallllllllllllllllllly hope this works out. I have been wanting this for a long time. It is my dream to be our own little family.

Also today we went over to Chris' to go look at that apartment. After we looked he wanted to take me to a movie. We went to see Eclipse.. yes I am a Twilight fan, but not the movies.. the books. This movie did surprise me though. It was actually pretty good. It may just be that I finished the books about two years ago, so I don't remember all the details, but this movie seemed to follow the book a little bit better. Still can't stand their choice for Edward though! Yuck! Now Taylor Lautner on the other hand.. Chris and I both have one famous person who we like and he is mine! Lol. Then Chris took me to eat at TGI Fridays :) Yum!
Then we went and looked at some furniture. We found a couch we like, but it may be the same one Brittany has lol.. Our living rooms may look alike.

So the vacation was not what I expected..

The first day was nice.. we checked into the hotel and got all our stuff in.We rested for a few minutes and watched some tv and then we all went swimming. Grace is actually starting to kick her feet in the water. I think she is going to be a natural swimmer. After we got done swimming we went to the room and ate some food. That was pretty much the end of the fun.. My mom and my grandmother don't agree on how my mom raises Cheyenne.. which honestly I don't either.. she will be five in a month and she still drinks from a bottle, sucks on a pacifier, and isn't potty trained.. plus she whines constantly.. so my mom and my grandmother were constantly fighting about that and my sister would get upset and start crying.. Then that night Grace didn't want to go to sleep because she was in a new place, so we were up half the night.. and then at like 1 am my sister started whining about wanting a bottle and wanting to go home.. my mom didn't even say anything to her, and all my grandmother did was tell her to hush 27 times so I ended up having to try to take care of her and Grace. Then after Grace finally went to sleep at 3 am my mom got up at 6:30 and pulled the curtains open and woke Grace up with the bright light because the room had been completely dark. Not to mention my mom had to complain about every little thing. The air conditioner wasn't working in the lobby, so she complained about that. The bathroom was "too small," the orange juice was hot, the room wasn't clean enough, the hospitality room was too small, the owners weren't nice enough.. she complained about absolutely everything. And then that morning when we wanted to go shopping my mom made us put everything in the closet because "someone would steal it." Then we went shopping. I got to go to the Carter's Outlet! That part was fun for me.. I got Grace six new outfits, a pair of shorts, and a pair of shoes for $60! And one of those outfit is going to be her birthday outfit! Here is a pic of it..

Then we went to eat at this restaurant that was pretty neat. It was on the water and it had these enormous tables, but of course my mom didn't like the restaurant for some unknown reason.. the food tasted great to me! Then we went to a Christmas shop and I got Grace a bowl with her name on it, a keychain with her name on it, a necklace with a G on it, a bracelet with her birthstone in it (the jewelry is actually for babies. It's so cute!), and an ornament with her name on it (I love monogrammed stuff)! We also went to a toy shop where I got Grace a different keychain with her name on it. Then we went to this little kid amusement park type thing for my sister, but my mom started complaining about how she was hurting and feeling sick, so we had to go back to the room after my sister only got to ride two rides. My mom and my grandmother both went to sleep so I took my sister and Grace swimming (my sister swam by herself with her floaty). When we went back up there my grandmother was in mine and Grace's bed... my mom complained that the bed wasn't big enough for both of them, so my grandmother got pushed into our bed :( At least Grace actually went to bed around 11 that night. Then the next morning we went to see the Titanic replica. I thought it was really neat! They gave us a ticket with the name of an actual passenger on there. The lady even gave Grace one. On the ticket it had some facts about the people.. like a background story, how old they were, where they were from, and what class they were in on the boat. Then at the end you went into the memorial room and they had a list of survivors and deceased on the wall, and you could find your name. All of us lived except for my sister.. and Grace had a son that lived too. I did learn that they locked the third class passengers down in the boat, and I almost wanted to cry.. who are they to play God? Why do they get to say that someone who is third class doesn't deserve to live as much as someone who was 1st class? They even had a set of stair with a door blocked by bars, and the lights would flicker and then water would start rushing down the stairs and it started filling up the stair case. It felt like I was really there seeing this water coming in, and all I could think about was Grace.. how would I be able to watch her drown with no possible way to save her? It was just awful.. I can't imagine how hard it was for the real people who were on the boat trapped down there.
After that we went to TGI Fridays. It was really good! Then we went to a wine place, and I got Grace a cup with her name on it, and I got a caramel apple! Then we went back to that amusement park and I got to ride a water boat thing and an awesome go cart course with my sister. That was pretty fun. Of course the day was filled with complaining by everyone who could.  I am pretty sure Grace had a good time though. And I did have a good time shopping, swimming, riding, and going to the Titanic.

Then we drove home. Grace went to sleep and I did too lol. Then I woke up to her crying :( She wanted out of the seat so bad, but we still had like 20 minutes until we got home. She was so glad to be home. Then Chris showed up to see us. It was really sweet.. he came to welcome us home. I didn't even know he was coming.. I love surprises. He stayed til like 1 am. I wanted him to stay so bad, but I knew my mom wouldn't go for that so he had to go home :(

Pictures!!!!!!

                                                                 On the way there:
 

Playing in the room:

                                                                        Swimming:

Driving around the town:

Shopping:


A cool fountain:


The Titanic:
  

In the Titanic gift shop:

On the way home:
 

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Thank God my vacation starts tomorrow!

We are leaving around 11 am tomorrow morning and I can't wait. At first I thought I was going to have to drive and take my tiny car, but my nana got her air conditioner fixed!! She has a van, so there will be plenty of room and I will be able to sit with Grace! I have already packed everything up, and believe me that took forever. Packing for a baby is ridiculous! Grace has six bags (they aren't big bags though), and box of food and formula, her stroller, and two jugs of water! All I'm taking is a fan, a pillow, and one bag.. High maintenance baby lol. I really can't wait though! It is going to be soooo much fun :)

I probably won't be on here again until Thursday though..

Today we went to a family cookout for the fourth of July. We went to Chris' uncles house, and they have a pool, so of course Grace had to swim lol. It was a lot of fun. The picture above is of her in her fourth of July outfit! She was festive lol.

After we left there I went to Wal-Mart to pick up the stuff we need for tomorrow like diapers and stuff, and Chris came with us.Grace was getting fussy, so he got her out and he said he was taking her to the toys. When he came back he had this little baby piano in his hand and he said "she likes it so she going to get it." He bought it for her.. It was so cute! He took her and let her pick out a toy and then he bought it for her.. I was so impressed. He has never done anything like that, and it was just so sweet. She really does like the toy too. To me that shows that he is maturing. He spent some money on his daughter instead of spending it all on himself.

Also.. side note on the Kevin thing.. I think Chris was right. Chris has always said that Kevin still likes me, but I always just blew it off.. now I think he was right. Kevin has texted me every single day for about 8 days now. I never start the conversation, and if I don't reply he will text me again saying "what's up" or "hey" about 30 minutes later. He has also told me that he is looking for a girl to settle down with, always thought I was cute, and that I am perfect, but the weirdest thing was I was talking about my car and he goes "dodge neon right?"
Before Chris moved out about a month ago I drove his car since mine wasn't working right, which is a Dodge Neon.. I was like "That's Chris' car, but how did you know that?" and he goes "I just have a good memory I guess." Except he has never seen that car with us around. I can only think of two times I saw him when I was with Chris.. one was my birthday a couple of years ago, but we were in my moms van, and the other was at 1890's Day that same year, and we were walking around.. didn't even have the car with us.
It really freaked me out because about a month ago Chris came over and started drilling me about having someone over. I hadn't had anyone over so I was completely confused, and Chris was like "I just saw Kevin walking down the street as I was driving up." You're probably thinking he could have been visiting someone else or something except I live on a dead end street with a bunch of old people who have lived here longer than I have, and I know he doesn't know any of them. I pretty much thought Chris was lying because that was when he had just moved out and we were on rocky terms, so I thought he was trying to get me to say I was seeing Kevin or something, but now I'm not so sure.. I'm kind of seriously freaked. I mean maybe he saw me out driving in it one day, but why would he not just say that? Why say he has a good memory? I don't know.. it kind of makes me look over my shoulder when I go outside now.. just a little strange.